


Worth in Gold

by Ryu_Reikai_Akuma



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bad Parenting, Coming Untouched, Derogatory Language, Dubious Consent, Forced Orgasm, Forced Prostitution, Gambling, Kissing, M/M, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Outdoor Sex, Public Blow Jobs, Rough Sex, Seduction, Uncle/Nephew Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2018-04-29 07:59:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5120858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryu_Reikai_Akuma/pseuds/Ryu_Reikai_Akuma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To pay his father's gambling debts, Kili was forced to sell himself. He had resigned himself to it and if he tried hard enough, he could ignore the shame and pain. But it was one thing to seduce and sleep with strangers and a completely different thing to do the same with his own uncle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bleak Hope

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, please heed the tag. This fic contains non-con elements. If that bothers you, please click the back button.
> 
> Second of all, um, I really don't feel comfortable writing derogatory language. I've written disturbing dirty talk and some dark themes before but I really don't like derogatory language so I keep changing and deleting it. So, if the dialogue of a certain character in this fic is a little weird, that's why.
> 
> Special thanks to a friend who helped me brainstorm for a title while I was working (sex-based industrial cluster wasn't a good title obviously)! Uh, enjoy?

The round dwarf laced his trousers with a satisfied grin on his face. “Tell your father he has one more month to pay his debt,” he said.

“Thank you, Mr. Northri!” Kili replied cheerfully.

Kili smiled widely but underneath the sheet his hands fisted in an attempt to not show the pain he felt from the bruises Northri had left on him. His toes curled in disgust when he felt filthy seed slowly leak out of his used hole. No, he must not show anything but gratefulness and satisfaction. He must not displease Northri, just as he must please every other dwarf who had been in this room with him. There were debts to pay and barely any money to survive and Northri was the richest and most powerful dwarf Kili’s family knew. One word from him and Kili’s family could find themselves on the street or worse, facing fates he had tried so hard to prevent with his body: death and a lifetime of humiliation. Kili must keep Northri happy.

Once he finished redressing, Northri turned to Kili, smirking. “Once he has paid his debt, tell your father he can borrow money from me again,” he said with a leer, his eyes roaming Kili’s body with unmistakable intent.

Kili’s body started to tremble. He felt sick, bile rising to his throat at the thought of letting the disgusting dwarf mount him again and call him insulting names for willingly spreading his legs for his father’s sake. Kili wanted to refuse, wanted to tell him to leave and never return, to take his money and hope that Kili, the dwarf who had no right to voice his lack of consent, would find it in his heart to forgive and forget what had been done to him. But then Kili thought of his poor mother and brother, their gaunt faces and red-rimmed eyes, the hunger they tried to stave off with water and little else, how without the help of depraved dwarfs such as Northri they wouldn’t survive for more than a month at best. Kili took a deep breath and smiled. “I will.”

Northri grinned. “In fact,” he said, palming his cock obscenely. “I might be inclined to visit again soon. I have just sold my old family house. I can put aside some money to help your father pay his debts.”

“That’s so generous of you, Mr. Northri,” Kili said despite his nausea. “I can’t wait for your next visit!”

“Of course you can't. Always hungry for dwarf cocks, aren’t you?” Northri sneered.

The smile stayed until Northri left, his mocking laughter ringing in the air and in Kili’s mind, hurting deeper than the bruises starting to form on his skin. Only after he was sure that Northri had left the house did Kili allow the smile to drop and his eyes to close. He curled up on his side of the bed, trying not to think of the thick smell of sex in the air, the stinging pain all over his body, the wet patch he lay on, the seed running down his thighs. He thought of how his mother would be relieved to know they would still have roof over their heads for a while more, how Fili wouldn’t have to keep working overtime to help pay the debts and buy food for the family, and how his father wouldn’t have to fear beating and death due to failure to return the money he had borrowed as he now had time to convince other dwarfs to lend him money to give to Northri and to gamble away again. Kili clenched his hands, feeling sick to his stomach.

Kili didn’t know how long he had stayed in his bed before Fili came to see him. He had lost track of time but he knew the darkness must have come because Fili never returned before dark, busy trying to spare Kili the humiliation but always failing to save him. Kili closed his eyes tightly when the bed dipped with Fili’s weight. He should feel ashamed for being found naked in bed with unmistakable signs of sex around him, but he had no pride left. There was no point in defending a body so often and so thoroughly used by so many.

“Kili,” Fili called quietly, sorrow and rage deepening his voice. Kili could sense Fili’s hand hover just above his shoulder but it never descended. Once, they had been inseparable and shared everything in their lives, but now Fili never touched him unless necessary and he looked away whenever he saw usually covered skin. Kili understood completely. Sometimes even he didn’t want to look, let alone touch himself.

When Fili cleared his throat, Kili turned his head slightly to acknowledge him. Fili’s smile was strained but it was kind, preferable to the lust-filled smiles of those who want Kili under them. Kili returned it, pretending that he was all right, that there was nothing wrong at all, that Fili was only waking him from a nap instead of rousing him from the dark pit his mind had been shoved into when Northri first laid his hand on him today.

“Home already? How was work?” Kili asked as a greeting.

Fili swallowed thickly as his eyes turned glassy. “It’s all right. Let’s get you cleaned up,” Fili said hoarsely.

Kili nodded and got up from bed. He put on a robe and took the dirty sheet with him, ignoring the stains on it. He saw Fili look away but said nothing. He followed Fili to the washroom where a bath had been prepared for him, a small form of luxury and a show of gratitude for the sacrifice he had made, but it wasn’t enough. Kili felt dirty and nothing, not even fire, could cleanse him.

* * *

Sometimes life was almost normal. Kili spent his time doing menial labors for his neighbors to earn some income for his family. He received stares every now and then from people who had heard of what use his father made of him, but he had learnt to ignore them. Some saw him with pity, others with disgust, but Kili only cared that they’re willing to employ him. He never turned down any work offer and never complained no matter how difficult and harsh the work was. In fact, he relished the aches at the end of the day. It’s a pain he welcomed, pain from honest work rather than pain from selling his body for a few coins that would disappear in the gambling house.

There had been a time when he argued with his father, blaming him for the way his greed destroyed the livelihood of his family. Valuable under his roof disappeared one by one and any coin earned quickly evaporated. Kili had considered leaving his family and starting a new life on his own, but a mention of passing interest by a debtor directed toward Dis and a considering look on Vilir’s face had stopped him. Without a second thought, Kili had begged his father to spare Dis the humiliation, not realizing that with that plea, he had brought attention to himself, to how he took after Dis in appearance more than Vilir. He had been horrified when his father made the proposal, but a quick reminder that Dis could easily take his place had driven Kili to quickly agree. Kili kept his objections quiet and let himself be used to win favors, bearing the pain and shame in silence. Better him than Dis or Fili.

Once in a while Kili thought of running away the way Dis had ran away from her home many decades ago. However, his situation was different from hers. She had left with no worry in her mind and with her love by her side, hopeful for a happy family life. Meanwhile, Kili had to protect his mother and brother from whatever desperation brought Vilir to. He couldn’t leave, not without putting his loved ones in danger. And even if he could bring ignore his family’s wellbeing and leave, where should he go to? There was also nowhere for him to go to, no one to turn to, no hope as far as he could see. Those with good intention had long abandoned his family and Vilir’s endless debts had made sure Kili had little time to hone any skill which might help him survive on his own. He had to stay, whether he wanted to or not.

“Mother, could you pass the bread?” Kili asked with a smile Dis didn’t see. She kept her eyes on her plate as she handed him the plate of bread. Kili couldn’t remember the last time Dis looked at him in the eyes. She lived in the shadows of their house now, avoiding even her own family, shrouded by grief and regret, accompanied by silent tears. Pale and quiet, she was a far cry from the dwarf lady who once taught her sons how to fight and put them to bed with fantastical stories from her long family history. No longer was she an opinionated dwarf, a wife or a mother, only a ghost and occasional housekeeper, yet another victim of greed. Kili quieted his disappointment and thanked her. Unrecognizable as she was, at least she was spared from what he had to go through. “Do you want some?” he asked Fili beside him.

Fili shook his head, stirring his soup listlessly. “I’m not that hungry,” he said although it was plain to see that clothes which once fit were now too large on his frame. The smile which once so often light up his face along with good-natured mischief was rarely seen now, replaced by dark haunted looks not befitting a dwarf his age. He should’ve been happy, learning trades for his future, spending time with friends, seeking for and dreaming of his One, but he seemed weary most of the time. Work had worn him out, sapping out what little energy he gained from the little meals they could afford, yet Fili never complained, tirelessly working for his money despite knowing that whatever he earned would disappear all too soon, foolishly believing that if he worked hard enough he would be able to spare Kili from perversion. He was Kili’s last line of defense, the only one who still cared, and Kili knew he was trying in vain.

Kili broke his bread into two and gave the larger piece to Fili, ignoring the frown directed his way. “Dieting, Fili? I know you’ve been speaking with the elves too much!” he teased, grinning.

There was an easy reply to the joke, but Fili didn’t say it. He knew more than anyone how Kili’s looks had made him the target of many cruel mockeries. No matter how Kili smiled and claimed he didn’t care, Fili never believed him. There was a time when the suspicion was correct, when Kili’s unusual appearance was a source of insecurity and heartache, but Kili had now been called worse and couldn’t bring himself to care. Fili didn’t know this, however, and Kili intended to keep it that way. He had enough stress as it was.

“Not all of us aspire to look like a ball, Kili,” Fili retorted dryly. Much to Kili’s delight, however, he dipped the bread into his soup and ate it. “Besides, a large belly will get in the way of working in the forge.”

Kili hummed thoughtfully. “We can’t have that, can we?” he said in mock seriousness. “Since your wiry arms have already given you so much problem.” He grinned widely when Fili gave him a nasty look.

Banter at the dining table was familiar. It had been a fixture of their family life as far as Kili could remember. As children it had been a silly competition to win their parents’ approval and as they grew older, it served as a way to reinforce their closeness as the time they spent apart grew. After a long day, it offered a little bit of cheer. They always enjoyed teasing each other, trading playful jabs with no intention to hurt though to others they might think they went too far. Now it had become something Kili looked forward to, the only thing he looked forward to. It was an illusion of normalcy, a pretense that everything was going well, something to help them get through the final hours of the day before everything started again. Kili tried not to pay attention to how Dis didn’t crack a smile and Vilir was looking thoughtfully at the distance. People changed. Situation changed. There was nothing to do but to make the best of the present, no matter how difficult and sometimes painful.

“Kili is right. You need energy for work,” Vilir interrupted with a smile.

Kili and Fili fell silent, turning toward their father. The smile was a reminder of an easier and happier time a long time ago, but Kili and Fili had learned to be wary of it. Once a loving father he had turned into a feared figure since he was introduced to gambling. What started as leisure activity became a full time occupation as he abandoned his work and his family for hours of trying his luck. What was once a hobby became a disease of the mind corrupting him, blinding him from how much harm he had caused and magnifying the rare victory. There was little to love and even less to respect for him from his family now. He never raised his hands against his family, but it was only a small consolation and the pain he caused was deeper than what met the eye. Kili quietly took a deep breath as Fili squeezed his knee under the table. Nothing good came out of gaining their father’s attention nowadays.

“I’m all right,” Fili said carefully.

“Are you sure? Didn’t you take extra work at the forge?”

Kili turned to Fili in surprise. “Is that why you’ve been leaving early and coming home late?” He smiled when Fili shrugged nonchalantly and nudged Fili’s side playfully. “And here I was sure you had met someone.”

Fili’s retort was interrupted by a thoughtful hum by Vilir. “That’s right. The forge is quite far from here, isn’t it?” Vilir asked. “You can save time if you have a pony to ride to work.”

Fili surreptitiously shifted closer to Kili, his hand gripping Kili’s knee tighter. “We can’t afford it,” he said tensely.

Vilir smiled widely. His once gentle eyes lighted up with cunningness and greed. Kili’s heart pounded in his chest. No matter how often he had seen it, no matter how he knew it would happen again and again, no matter how he told himself that it’s for the best, a frisson of fear still ran through him at the prospect of being the coin that bought his family’s survival. His skin prickled in disgust, his body remembering all too well the harsh touches which had been laid upon it.

Vilir puffed out his chest proudly as he announced to his family, “We’ll be having a guest! I have invited your mother’s brother to visit us!”

Fili frowned in confusion. “Mother’s brother?”

“Thorin,” Dis said quietly, speaking for the first time that night.

“Thorin?” Kili wondered, repeating the forgotten name. It felt vaguely familiar though he couldn’t remember anything of the dwarf who owned the name. Dis’s stories of her past was but a distant memory and she never visited or communicated with her family and friends since she started a family of her own. Why, then, was Thorin suddenly visiting? Kili and Fili glanced at each other, sharing their unease with a look.

Vilir nodded enthusiastically. “I sent him a message. I told him that we would like to reconnect with your mother’s side of the family and he agreed to come to Ered Luin. He should arrive this summer!” Vilir explained happily. “Now, remember, you must treat him well. He is a very respectable dwarf, a very successful merchant! He is used to certain kinds of treatment and we mustn’t disappoint him!” He looked at Kili pointedly. “Kili, you know what to do.”

Kili’s heart sank to the pit of his stomach. Surely his father didn’t mean… But the way Vilir was looking at him was unmistakable. He had seen and accepted it many times before but disgust and disbelief overwhelmed him this time. Kili swallowed thickly as Fili’s fists connected with the table loudly, rattling plates, bowls, and cups on it.

Fili glared at his parents angrily. “How could you do this? He’s our own uncle! He’s your brother!” He directed the last sentence to Dis who shut her eyes tightly and bit her lip.

“Please. We need this,” she begged quietly. Not to her husband to change his mind, but to Fili to accept the decision, causing pain to lance through Kili’s heart. He had long since ceasing to expect protection from her but he hadn’t expected to see her supporting Vilir when he planned to use their son to win her brother’s favor.

“His help will be beneficial for us all, Fili,” Vilir said calmly, undeterred by her son’s anger. “We won’t have to sell our belongings and we’ll be able to get you that new pony.”

“A pony,” Kili repeated, hurt. It was likely the only thing they would get from this horrible ploy. He knew no more than a scrap of whatever given to them would go to their suffering family. Most of it would be lost on gambling tables, just as before. The only other thing they would gain was another dwarf Kili had to admit between his legs and this time it wasn’t any dwarf, it was his own uncle.

“I can walk! I’ll save money on my own! I don’t need Thorin’s help!” Fili shouted. He looked at Kili, holding his hand almost painfully. “You can’t make Kili do this!”

“Don’t be unreasonable, Fili. Look around you. We need help,” Vilir said, gesturing around them.

Indeed their once lovely house had become deteriorated. There cracks on the wooden walls and the floor and their furniture were old and rickety. The kitchen was almost completely barren of food. The clothes they wore were years old with various patches to repair tears from fruitless hard work. Yet despite all this, they all knew it would only get worse since Vilir spent more money than what they all earned combined.

“Can’t we just ask him?” Kili asked, unable to give his usual immediate acceptance when he was faced with the task of seducing his own uncle. He felt ill. He could ignore sleeping with strangers, but with his own kin? With someone who shared his blood? How much lower would he be degraded to?

For the first time, discomfort fleeted through Vilir’s eyes. He glanced at Dis who didn’t meet his gaze. “I don’t think that would work. We didn’t exactly part on good terms.”

Fili shook his head. “But he’s our uncle!” he argued. “And who’s to say he will be interested in what you want Kili to do? Didn’t you say he’s a respectable dwarf?”

Vilir shrugged, unbothered. “I’m sure Kili can handle that,” he said calmly.

The reminder that this was a familiar territory, that Kili had convinced other dwarfs to repeatedly fall into bed with him, cut deep and it hurt even more as there was no denying of it. It was true that Kili had learned to draw interest and to make people forget their reservations, to invite people to take and demand, to keep quiet his pained screams. It was true that he had gotten used to it. It was true that he had mastered how to do it, that if he tried hard enough, he would no doubt succeed in luring Thorin to this bed. Across the table from him, Dis began to tremble, hiding the sobs wrecking her thin body, but no one consoled her. Fili looked away, unable to look at his family, while Vilir looked at the dwarfs he had broken, not a trace of regret in his eyes.

“I’ll do anything to support our family,” Fili said through gritted teeth. “There’s no need for this.”

Vilir looked at his son calmly, but there was maliciousness in his eyes as he considered Fili’s plea. Panic burst inside Kili. Surely Vilir wouldn’t consider putting his other son in the shameful situation Kili was in. Kili searched his father’s face for mercy but only saw cold calculative looks. Vilir wouldn’t spare Fili if it meant earning coins to pay for his gambling habit. Kili clenched his hands painfully into fists. No. Only one person in his family needed to know these pain and humiliation.

“We need Thorin’s help,” Kili said resolutely. Fili looked at him as if he had betrayed him but Kili had to do this for him and their family. He turned his gaze to Vilir who was smiling widely in victory. “Don’t we?”

“We do,” Vilir said, nodding. He leaned forward eagerly, grinning at his son. “So, do you agree?”

Kili ignored the look of despair Fili gave him and the tears freely falling from Dis’s eyes and nodded. “Yes.”


	2. The Honorable Guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dub-con warning for this chapter! Please proceed with caution! And writing Northri makes me very uncomfortable. Sorry if his dialogue sounds weird.

Tension thickened as Thorin’s arrival approached. Kili caught Dis staring at him sadly more often and Fili’s temper worsened, as evidenced by his baleful glares and silence to his parents. Only Vilir seemed happy, ecstatic even, at the prospect of convincing his brother in-law to give him some money by using his son. It still sickened Kili to think of what he had been ordered to do, but he focused on the task at hand and what changes it might bring if he succeeded. He swallowed his dying protests as he helped Vilir prepared their house for Thorin’s stay. They furnished a spare room with their best belongings and arranged the communal sections of their house to be more pleasing to the eye. It was still not something a rich merchant might be accustomed with but Vilir was sensible enough not to force himself to buy new items just for the stay. Housing a guest wouldn’t be cheap, however, and they only had a few spare silver which barely enough to cover the expenses of their family, so Northri came one day, having apparently agreed to loan a large sum of money to Vilir to host Thorin.

“Your father is planning something,” Northri growled as he twisted Kili’s nipple until he squirmed in pain. “What does he have in mind?”

“Nothing,” Kili gasped, trying to escape the pain on his chest, only to impale himself further on Northri’s cock spearing him. “My uncle is coming. We need-ah!-we need to prepare for his stay.”

“Is that all?” Northri asked, digging his fingers into Kili’s hips.

Through the haze of pleasure and pain, shame and fear broke in. Kili might be a whore but people wouldn’t take kindly to him planning to bed his uncle, even those who had degraded him in nearly every way imaginable. The social ramification of sleeping with one’s own blood for coins wouldn’t be pretty. Not wanting to reveal Vilir’s desperate bid for wealth, Kili used a trick he knew Northri wouldn’t be able reject. He widened his eyes, clenching his hands on the sheet and bucking his hips. “Please. I need to come,” he begged breathlessly.

Northri scoffed but his eyes darkened in arousal. After releasing Kili’s nipple, he used Kili’s body harshly, each sharp thrust sending air out of Kili’s lungs. Northri knew his body too well. He angled his hips just so, making Kili writhed beneath him, unwillingly being overwhelmed by pleasure as Northri’s cock massaged his sensitive prostate. Kili’s cock was red and dripping despite his displeasure of being used. Taking himself in hand, he stroked himself quickly to fake eagerness and end it as soon as possible. Northri barked a laugh and harshly pulled his hair back, forcing him to arch his back, and bent down to lick and bit Kili’s heaving chest. The position was uncomfortable and Northri’s slick tongue on his skin sickened him, but he didn’t protest. Kili cried out in relief when he came, seed splattering on their abdomens. Above him, Northri made a bullish grunt and gave Kili no chance to recover as he selfishly took his pleasure in his sensitive body, making him whine and squirme.

“Don’t think you can run from me,” he growled to Kili’s ear as he rammed into him, ignoring how Kili winced in pain. “Don’t think Vilir can run from his debts.”

After a few hard thrusts, he filled Kili, biting Kili’s shoulder so hard he cried out. A little blood was spilled but at least it was over. Kili closed his eyes, focusing on milking Northri’s cock and only opened them when Northri withdrew to redress. Despite Kili’s usual cheerful gratitude, Northri seemed displeased still. This worried Kili, but Northri kept his words and gave the coins he had promised Vilir, so Kili quietly treated his bruises and washed his sheets. Fortunately, after Northri, no one else came. It was only a small reprieve, but Kili tried to take comfort where he could. He knew that once Thorin arrived, there would be no such thing, he was to be ready to pleasure Thorin whenever he desired.

On the day of Thorin’s arrival, a fine day at the cusp of summer, Kili cleaned himself thoroughly and put on his best clothes-a difficult feat since most of his clothes were by now old and worn. He brushed and oiled his hair until it shone. He frowned at his thin and beardless reflection, but there was no helping it. He could only hope that Thorin would at least overlook it enough to use him. A small part of Kili foolishly kept the hope that they could convince Thorin to help them without resorting to this, but Vilir would want something to seal the deal, an assurance that Thorin wouldn’t change his mind and an offer of what Thorin would get if in the future he was willing to help them again. It was unavoidable and failure wasn’t an option. Kili had to successfully seduce Thorin.

Dis seemed ill as they waited for Thorin’s arrival. Her face was pale, her eyes rimmed with redness, and her lip bitten raw. She looked at the floor, unable to meet her sons’ eyes. Fili in particular looked at her angrily, but his anger was impotent. It wouldn’t change anything. Vilir wouldn’t let it change anything. They couldn’t afford to let it change anything and Fili knew it. He sat beside Kili, protective but powerless. In the past couple of months Fili had done all he could to earn more money to settle Vilir’s debt to spare Kili the terrible fate of sleeping with their own uncle, but it was no use. The debt was too large and it would only grow, not something which could be covered with money earned from being an employee in a small forge. They needed Thorin’s help. The case had been settled long before Kili agreed to cooperate, before Vilir announced his plan, before any of them realized what an impossible situation they were in. Now, Kili had to put it in action.

Kili tried to appear unaffected. Showing any sign of distress would make Dis and Fili feel worse and it’s clear that they felt horrible enough as they were. They didn’t need to know that he was barely able to sleep last night, haunted by thoughts of sleeping with his own kin. They had never met before, he told himself repeatedly. They were related by legality and legacy, but they were strangers to each other and Thorin would be no different from the dwarfs Kili had been with in the past. These thoughts eased someone Kili’s anguish but he was still acutely aware of what he had to do and what would be reduced to. Still, despite the sickness in his gut, he tried to look brave, as if this was an ordinary day and they were only expecting a visit from a friend. And while Thorin might not be a friend now, by the end of his stay he had to be at least an ally, someone willing to help, preferably repeatedly, if for selfish instead of altruistic reasons.

A knock came loud and clear all of a sudden, startling three of the dwarfs. Vilir, the only one not surprised, nearly flew to the front door in his excitement. “Come!” he called Dis impatiently. He looked at Kili pointedly as Dis approached him shakily. “Kili, remember what you must do!”

Vilir looked away before Kili could nod, let alone argue. But it wasn’t as if he couldn’t argue, was it? Kili took a deep breath as Vilir opened the door. He had done it before, he reminded himself. He had done this _many_ times before. This time wasn’t different, regardless of the fact that he and Thorin were related. This was just another dwarf Kili must satisfy with his body. Kili closed his eyes tightly for a moment, quieting his desire to plead his case by remembering how badly his family suffered and how Thorin could help them, then opened them and smiled widely.

“Vilir.”

Deep voice sent shiver down Kili’s spine. Thorin entered their humble house, looking every bit like the respectable dwarf he was and not someone even remotely related to Kili’s poor family. He was tall and imposing, his gaze sharp and cold when it rested on his brother in-law. Though Kili’s family was wearing their best clothes, they were mere peasants in comparison to Thorin who was covered in thick fur, leather, and embroidered silk. His beads, ear clasp, rings, and gold necklace glittered under the sunlight, drawing Vilir’s hungry gaze. He brought himself with confidence, immediately commanding respect and even fear. This impression was further amplified by the beautiful sword at his hip. There was a distinct impression that this wasn’t a mere merchant. This was a warrior.

Kili swallowed. He had been with this kind of dwarfs before. They weren’t known for their kindness and always left him in ruin, aching from their purely selfish use of his body. Even the kinder ones often forgot their strength in the throes of passion, leaving deep bruises which would stay for days. Kili studied Thorin’s muscular arms and his broad shoulders. He was taller and better-built than any dwarf Kili had been with, likely stronger, more capable of causing harm. Kili nearly recoiled in fear, thinking of what Thorin might do to him, but he forced himself to stay where he was and smile.

“Did you find this house easily?” Vilir asked.

“Not exactly. Your map got me lost a few times.” Thorin let Vilir stammered his apology and turned to his sister. Unlike the aloofness and dismissal he showed Vilir, he smiled when he saw Dis. However, there was also wariness in his eyes. “Dis.”

Dis smiled weakly and embraced Thorin tightly. Her sob was muffled by Thorin’s broad shoulder and she quickly pulled away before it grew. “Thorin,” she choked out with a watery smile. “It’s been a while.”

Thorin nodded. “Indeed.” His voice was solemn as he took a step back from her.

It was clear that there was a story not told by Dis and Vilir. Fili and Kili had only been told about the happy life in Erebor, the relatives and friends, and memorable episodes from childhood. None of them would warrant this sort of interaction. Kili wondered what had happened before Dis left to be with Vilir to leave the siblings this reserved when they met for the first time in decades. This musing, however, was disrupted when Vilir gestured to his sons behind Thorin’s back, reminding Dis of what she was expected to do. She paled but there was no fight in her eyes. Unwittingly, Kili trembled. He hadn’t been this worried of the prospect of sleeping with someone, but the combination of the fact that Thorin was family and his obvious strength rattled Kili’s nerves. He glanced at Fili to seek support, but his brother was tensely watching Thorin, not paying attention to him. Kili swallowed thickly, feeling very alone.

“Let me-let me introduce you to my sons. This is Fili, my oldest,” Dis croaked out, drawing a curious look from Thorin. However, Dis looked away and he seemed to dismiss it as her being emotional due to the reunion.

“Uncle,” Fili greeted stiffly.

Thorin nodded in reply, studying him quietly. Fili was usually friendlier than this, charming people with his wit and confident smile. But he didn’t smile this time, clearly not interested in getting along with his uncle better. Similarly, Thorin studied Fili in a detached fashion. Kili couldn’t tell whether it’s a part of his personality to be distant or whether he was uninterested in the life Dis led after her marriage. The Thorin Dis painted in her stories was a responsible older brother, quite serious in nature, but ultimately caring. This dwarf before them was a stranger to Kili in every way.

“And this is… Kili.” Dis’s voice was but a whisper. Her mouth opened as if to speak more but she stepped back instead and bowed her head, leaving Kili to his own devices.

“Uncle! I’m glad to finally meet you! I’ve heard so much about you!” Kili lied smoothly. He laughed when Thorin raised an eyebrow dubiously. “May I take your coat?”

Thorin studied him for a moment, justly suspicious of Kili’s enthusiasm. But Kili had seen this cautious reaction before and knew how to make his smile appear genuine. Unable to detect any lie, Thorin nodded and took off his coat. Kili helped him, surreptitiously caressing his shoulders and back, his touch too light to be called inappropriate but firm enough that it couldn’t be dismissed as an accident. Thorin frowned at him but Kili had moved away to store his coat. It was important not to rush and show his interest and willingness in small portions. Kili should butter him up first, earning his favor until it was certain that his offer wouldn’t be refused. He had done this well many times before and he would do it again today. Fili and Dis averted their eyes, unable to watch him play his part.

“Fili, Kili, take your uncle’s carriage to the backyard, put the ponies in the stable, and bring his luggage to his room! This way, Thorin. We’ve prepared wine for you!” Vilir said and led Thorin to the dining room.

Just before they disappeared from view, Thorin threw an unreadable look to Kili. He might not be interested yet, but he clearly had an inkling of what Kili offered and he wasn’t completely averse to it. Though his heart lurched in his chest, Kili grinned at him. The ruse had begun.

* * *

Thorin was suspicious but after a few glasses of wine he began to relax, even laughing a few times at Vilir and Kili’s jokes. The alcohol had the same effect on Dis who, although still upset, managed to crack a few smiles. Only Fili was quiet, burdened by the knowledge that this was a mere prelude to Kili’s mission. Kili gave him reassuring smiles, although it was in vain, Fili remaining gloomy by his side. There was no chance to cheer him, however. Kili focused his attention to Thorin, cracking jokes and telling stories to soften him. He was still distant, still watching them with slight wariness, but Kili could see growing fondness in his eyes and the slight curve of his lips. Kili knew when Thorin started to ask him more about Ered Luin that he had started to won over Thorin’s heart.

Eliminating the emotional distance between them was only the first step, however. Kili made sure to touch Thorin lightly and briefly every so often, reminding him of his presence and hinting him of his intention. He started with Thorin’s arms and hands, brushing them while pretending to be impressed by Thorin’s strength (Kili tried not to think of what that strength would do to him later that night. There would be nothing to be done with it when it came to pass, after all), then his back while pretending to reach something, and finally his thigh as he pretended to be drunk. Thorin looked at Kili more and more intently as the night wore on but nothing more. Unlike others who had been treated the same by Kili, he contained himself carefully. Alcohol didn’t loosen his iron-clad control of himself and let his primal instinct take over. It’s quite understandable, as they were related and no respectable person would openly lust after his own close relative, but this was hindering Kili’s task. It seemed that Kili had to make the first move this time. The thought of actively offering himself to Thorin made Kili feel ill, but he knew his duty and intended to carry it out to the end.

After dinner, Thorin was the first to retire to his room. Vilir and Dis immediately followed suit and went to their room. Vilir gave Kili as pointed look before he left, but even without the reminder Kili wouldn’t forget what he was expected to do. After all, how could one forget that he was asked to seduce his own uncle? But Kili didn’t linger at this thought. He quickly prepared himself, changed into a light robe and went to Thorin’s room. It’s best to do this as soon as possible, before Thorin’s interest wane and he started to doubt Kili’s intention, to say nothing of how the anticipation tortured Kili. However, just as he left his room, Fili stopped him.

“You don’t have to do this,” he pleaded. His expression twisted in agony as if it was he who was sent to Thorin’s bed instead of Kili.

“I have to. We need his help,” Kili replied, frowning, as he shook his head. The devastated look of Fili’s face at his refusal nearly ruined Kili’s resolve. Fili never approved of what Vilir had reduced Kili into but Kili had never seen his brother this broken-hearted and betrayed before. He understood that this situation was unprecedented, but he never meant to burden Fili with worry. “Think of a new pony. We’ll get one and your work will be easier!” Kili grinned. “And we can have proper meal! When was the last time we had one?”

Fili grimaced. “How long will Thorin’s aid last? We’ve seen this before. It never stayed long.”

No, money never lasted long in the hands of Vilir. This wasn’t a permanent solution. Thorin’s help would grant them temporary peace, but sooner or later they would be back to hiding from angry money lenders and being visited by perverted dwarfs. However…

“But it will help,” Kili said to convince himself and Fili. He reached out to grip Fili’s arm but then remembered how Fili avoided his touch whenever Kili traded sex for help. Kili dropped his hand and smiled widely. “It will be all right! We’ll buy that pony for you and food for everyone! Don’t worry!”

Kili left before Fili could protest and swayed his determination. A tiny part of him hoped Fili would stop him again and refused to let him go, but then he heard Fili’s retreating footsteps. It was for the best, he knew, but it still hurt nonetheless. In his dark house, he was all alone with no one to safe him from the disgusting act he was to perform. Kili closed his eyes and took a deep shuddering breath. He had to be strong. He had no one to help him.

Kili quickly went to Thorin’s door, not wanting to give any chance for doubt to settle in his mind. He thought of a reprieve from poverty and threats, no matter how briefly. Once he had gathered his courage, he knocked on the door. The noise was loud in the silent house, a sinful announcement of the perversion Kili was about to partake in. He clenched his hands into fists and waited.

“Come in,” came a voice from inside the room.

Kili entered Thorin’s room before he lost his courage. He closed the door firmly behind him and leaned on it briefly as he surveyed the room. There were a few satchels and chests inside the small room, making it seem cramped. There were a few personal items on a table by the bed: jewelries, a comb, and a book. A couple of candles burnt bright in the room. It seemed that Thorin was just getting ready to sleep. His thick clothes had been replaced by more comfortable nightwear, the light fabric displaying his muscular body that Kili had only imagined before. Even without his thick coat he was intimidating, his height and muscular body making Kili felt small. Every inch of Thorin oozed with strength and Kili’s stomach dropped at the thought of what might happen.

Thorin raised an eyebrow at Kili. “A little late for a chat, isn’t it?”

This snapped Kili out of his daze. He gathered his courage and, with a jovial smile, approached Thorin. “I want to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“I am.”

Kili nodded, not really paying attention to Thorin’s words, and untied his robe. “I’d like to be sure.”

The robe slipped off Kili’s body smoothly and pooled around his feet. He affected a confident smile. While his appearance was far from ideal for a dwarf, he was certain that revealing himself wasn’t a misstep. Kili studied Thorin’s reaction carefully. Thorin didn’t make a move, but he didn’t seem repelled, either. He ran his eyes down Kili’s body quickly before returning his impassive gaze to Kili’s face. He said nothing, but there was a beginning of burning passion in his cold eyes. If Kili had any doubt of his interest, he could be sure now. Thorin wanted him. He just needed a small encouragement to act on that interest.

Emboldened by this, Kili reached out to run his hand over Thorin’s chest, lightly combing the short hair peeking from under the nightshirt. His chest rose and fall steadily as Kili’s stroked it, his control still firmly in place, so Kili slipped his hand under Thorin’s shirt. The tight muscles of Thorin’s abdomen clenched when Kili caressed it and, for the first time, his breath stuttered. Feeling bold, Kili dipped his fingertips into Thorin’s breeches, searching for his cock. Suddenly Thorin seized his hand to stop him.

“What would your parents and brother think?” Thorin asked.

Kili shrugged. Fili and Dis were devastated but they would never come to stop him, while Vilir would be glad to know Kili had done his work. “Let them think what they want to think.”

Kili waited for more argument, but none was forthcoming. Kili ducked his head to hide his bitter smile. Thorin wasn’t averse to this, after all. Kili tugged his hand free all too easily and dipped his hand lower until it slipped into Thorin’s breeches. Kili swallowed when his hand closed over Thorin’s cock. It felt big even though it’s only partially hard. He resisted the urge to wince and expertly stroked it to full hardness. He could feel Thorin’s eyes on him but he focused on the movements of his hand, unable to meet his uncle’s eyes. He noted that Thorin’s breathing barely accelerated, but Kili had in his hand the proof that he wasn’t unaffected. It took only a moment to bring him to full arousal, silky and heavy in Kili’s hand and weeping steadily at the tip. Kili tightened his grip, finally drawing a reaction in the form of a slight jerk of hips and a small sharp exhalation. Glancing up, he saw that Thorin’s icy blue eyes had darkened as he watched Kili, his desire clear on his face. His cock twitched in Kili’s grip when Kili licked his lips and smiled.

Deciding that it was time to move on to the next step, Kili removed his hand from the silky length and quickly undid Thorin’s breeches before pushing the garment down to reveal Thorin’s cock. It curved upward proudly between strong thighs and thick veins ran along the column of flesh nestled on a thatch of black hair. It was flushed in impatience for release and its size was intimidating. This night would end with soreness, if not pain. Kili couldn’t stop, however. He recalled his past experiences, pushed away the less pleasant memories of gagging and crying, and dropped down to his knees. However, before he managed to do so, Thorin stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Bed,” Thorin said, short and succinct without a trace of doubt.

Smiling widely, Kili got onto the bed. He arranged himself on all fours, presenting Thorin his entrance to use and spreading his legs as widely as possible without being too obviously worried of Thorin’s size. Though he had prepared himself, now that he had seen Thorin’s cock, he feared it wasn’t enough. Kili’s heart pounded in anticipation of pain. Perhaps he should hint that he needed a little more stretching, but the task of preparation usually fell on him. His visitors only came to take their pleasure, not to make sure that he was comfortable. Kili took a deep breath to calm himself. They usually preferred him tight, so this should please Thorin, hopefully enough to convince him to help Kili’s family a little. How Kili felt was of little consequence.

Kili watched Thorin take off his clothes, slowly revealing his body. Bare, it was even more obvious that he was a warrior rather than a merchant. There were scar tissues of varying sizes decorating his body, one of them was even over his heart. His muscles flexed with every movement, displaying the formidable strength they possessed. Thorin caught Kili’s eyes and lazily stroked his cock, patient but full of intent. Though his fear grew, Kili couldn’t look away as Thorin climbed onto the bed. He felt like a prey, pinned down by a predator’s gaze. Kili was by no means weak, but at that moment he felt vulnerable. Thorin didn’t notice this, however, and knelt behind him, staring for a long moment at the body offered to him before stroking Kili’s inner thighs with his large hands.

Instead of spreading them as Kili thought, the large hands applied soothing pressure on tense muscles. Kili gasped in surprise as every knot, every hint of nervousness was massaged until it went away. The hands drifted upward a few time, to just below his buttocks, but they always slid down again. Thorin watched him carefully as he massaged the tense thighs sensuously, although what he expected to see, Kili didn’t know. Kili sighed softly and rested his head on the bed as his body gradually submitted to Thorin.

No one had ever helped him relax, even those who knew that he was too taut. Some of them even seemed to relish in it. Now, Kili moaned quietly as Thorin eased the tension with gentle pressure, very close to begging to be touched more. He nearly whined in disappointment when Thorin’s hands finally reached his cheeks. A long slow exhalation came from behind him as Thorin ran his hands up and down the plump cheeks. Kili bit his lip and clutched the sheet tightly, waiting. His cheeks were squeezed briefly before Thorin gently spread them, revealing Kili’s loose hole. His thumb circled the rim over and over slowly, making Kili quiver in anticipation. Then, the tip pressed the loosened furl, the pressure increasing steadily as if it was going to push in, but it never did. Just as Kili’s body opened up for him, the thumb withdrew to continue tracing the ring of muscles which now clenched over emptiness hungrily. Again, Thorin pressed his thumb against Kili’s entrance. This time he let the very tip slipped inside. Just this, just this initial stretch, made Kili mewl, his cock twitched in interest for the first time that night. This was repeated many times until Kili shook in effort to not push back and desperately moaned when Thorin gave him the tip of his thumb to clench on. Heat built up inside him, centering below his belly. His cock slowly filled, curving up and begging for at least a stroke.

Kili whined when the thumb disappeared again. His cheeks were squeezed one last time before the hands moved to grip Kili’s hips. Suddenly, Thorin turned Kili to his back. Kili gasped when he suddenly found himself lying on the bed. He was slim, but he wasn’t that light, so the ease with which Thorin maneuvered him surprised him. Confused and disoriented, he didn’t pay attention to Thorin crawling up above him until his nipple was captured in a warm wet mouth. He arched his back, crying out in surprise. Thorin’s large hands were on him once again, caressing his sides slowly, as Thorin licked and sucked his nipple with ardor. The fingers of one hand found Kili’s neglected nipple and flicked it gently back and forth with his thumb as he continued to tease the other bud with his agile tongue and soft lips. Panting softly, Kili pushed his chest to Thorin’s mouth as, over and over again, Thorin sucked his nipple hard before lapping at it to soothe the soreness. He lifted his shaking arms to lightly caress Thorin’s back to return the attention, but it didn’t feel right and he dropped them again to clutch at the sheet helplessly. He whined loudly, unable to withhold the noise, when Thorin left the bud to switch to the other. His hand teased the wet nipple as he proceeded to give the same treatment to the other side. Once it was tight and wet, he licked it broadly before switching back to the other nub. He kept switching between them for a time, caressing Kili’s side and slowly overtaking him with pleasure. Kili couldn’t help himself, gasping and whining when Thorin sucked his nipples hard and when his teeth lightly grazed them. Between his legs, his cock throbbed and dripped pre-spend. It took all his self-restraint not to rub himself on Thorin’s abdomen to relieve the ache.

Finally Thorin pulled away with one last wet sound and inspected his work. The pink nubs were now red, hard and wet from his ministration and Kili was panting, looking at Thorin with something akin to desperation. Satisfied with the result, he moved his attention elsewhere. Kili gasped loudly when Thorin began kissing and nipping his sensitive neck. Instinctively, he tipped his head back and Thorin immediately took advantage of it, sucking small bruises around his beard line and behind his ears. Moaning freely, Kili wrapped an arm around Thorin’s broad shoulder while his other hand combed Thorin’s wild hair and pulled him close. He hooked his feet behind Thorin’s thighs, silently begging him to be closer.

Few had cared to find what pleasured Kili and when they did care, they mostly only did so to further humiliate him. But not so with Thorin whose breath caressed his sensitive neck until he shivered, whose tongue and lips made him whimper for more, whose hands provided anchor in the confusing storm of lust. Thorin didn’t mock him, didn’t mention how sick he was for liking this. He was silent but for quiet moans as he left his marks on Kili’s neck. His hard cock nudged Kili’s bottom but he didn’t push into Kili or rut against him, which was unfair as Kili was barely able to not grind his cock on Thorin, searching for relief although he had yet to do anything for Thorin. Kili was so lost in pleasure, in a need he had never felt before, that he almost didn’t notice Thorin’s lips inches away from his.

“What are you doing?” Kili asked sharply, jerking his head back before he could stop himself.

Thorin stopped and leaned back slightly to look at Kili better. “Trying to kiss you,” he replied. He narrowed his eyes. “Have you never been kissed?”

“Of course I have!” Kili said indignantly. Northri, who was the first dwarf he had bedded, had been intent on being his first in everything, and after him there were some who took pleasure in taking him in every way. But, kissing was mostly done as a chore, a mockery of something lovers do, and wasn’t customary. Whores aren’t to be kissed. They’re to be fucked. “That’s not what’s usually asked from me, is all,” he continued with as much dignity as he could muster, seeing as he was lying naked under his uncle.

Thorin’s lips thinned. “It’s what I ask for.”

Kili looked at Thorin for a while, trying to understand the strange dwarf, before relaxing. If that’s what Thorin wanted then he shouldn’t argue. “All right,” he said.

Kili shuddered when Thorin pressed their lips together, the simple contact somehow producing dizzying heat throughout his body. Their lips mold wonderfully together and Kili surrendered himself when Thorin deepened the kiss. When coaxed with a wet slide of tongue, Kili opened the seams of his lips, letting Thorin claim his mouth. It felt uncomfortably intimate, the way Thorin kissed him. He explored Kili’s mouth slowly and thoroughly and teased Kili’s tongue into doing the same. He groaned deep into Kili’s mouth and slotted their bodied close together when Kili’s hesitant tongue caressed the roof of his mouth. His exploration slowed, savoring instead of claiming, and between Kili’s legs his hips rocked, grinding their cocks together. His thumb found Kili’s nipple again and teased it as slowly as he moved his hips. Thorin broke the kiss every now and then to moan breathlessly and quickly resealed their lips together. He gripped Kili’s hip and guided him to rock his hips, sliding their dripping cocks against each other. Kili’s keens seemed to please him and he stroked Kili’s side, humming into his mouth, as he tilted his head to kiss Kili deeply. The sensual kiss, the wandering hands and the slow grinding of his hips slowly but surely undid Kili. He ached. He wanted. He _needed_.

Kili turned his head to the side, breaking the kiss with a gasp. He pushed Thorin away to get the vial of oil in his robe, using the chance to catch his breath and clear the fog in his head. His legs were weak and his hands trembled ever so slightly. Kili wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, to continue rocking together with Thorin until they found release or to be filled until they came in each other’s arms. He had never felt this way before. The previous dwarfs he had been with only took him without much care for pleasure-sharing and often Kili ended the session without coming at all. Yet now between his legs his erection pulsed impatiently, hungry for Thorin’s touch, and he found himself wanting more of the care and attention shown. Kili shook his head. This was just another dwarf he must sleep with, just another temporary lifeline. Kili must keep his distance. He must not confuse his duty and his own sick lust.

Kili handed the vial to Thorin and then settled again onto his hands and knees, presenting himself. He looked at Thorin and smiled shakily. “Hurry, Thorin,” he invited throatily. It frightened him how genuinely he meant it.

When Thorin knelt behind him again, Kili expected quick mindless rutting which would leave him bruised and in pain. However, Thorin eased two thick oiled fingers into Kili slowly, stretching him. Kili blinked rapidly, the sensation of having something inside him almost a relief after so much teasing. He couldn’t help but clutched them tightly, unwilling to let them go. It wasn’t until Thorin caressed his flank that he released a shuddery breath and relaxed. The digits moved carefully, spreading once in a while and stroking Kili’s prostate every so often. No matter how hard Kili tried to detach himself from his body, he couldn’t help how his cock jerked and dripped onto the sheets, how he pushed back onto the fingers filling him, how he moaned and arched his back in plea for more. He often feigned enthusiasm, but the need was true this time. Kili looked back with glassy eyes and met Thorin’s gaze. Lust darkened those eyes and made Thorin breathe harder. His lips were slightly opened in awe when Kili moaned loudly as his prostate was teased again.

“I’m ready,” Kili whimpered, barely able to stop himself from saying ‘please’.

The thick fingers left Kili slowly and soon he heard Thorin’s ragged breath behind him. Kili closed his eyes when Thorin draped his bigger body over his back. Thorin felt overwhelmingly large even though their sizes weren’t that different, but any fear Kili felt was soothed by caressing hands, irrationally convincing him that he was safe. Kili breathed slowly, anchoring himself to the sound of Thorin’s airy moans by his ear. The tip of Thorin’s cock nudged Kili’s loose entrance and then slowly pushed in.

Though not the biggest Kili had ever had, Thorin was still quite thick. Kili panted, his arms shaking in effort to keep him up, as he was stretched further than he was accustomed to by the girth. Despite the preparation, there was still a sting of shock. Instinct nearly made Kili pull away but Thorin held him tightly as he pushed into Kili with agonizing slowness, reducing Kili into biting his lip to muffle his plaintive whimpers. He spread his legs wider to ease the entry, earning a wet kiss upon his damp neck. Thorin pulled back a little and pushed in that final inch in one gentle stroke. Kili gasped when Thorin’s hips were finally pressed against his bottom and he was filled so utterly and completely. He trembled at the incessant sensation, the lust spreading like wildfire through his veins, the pleasure heating his body, while Thorin kissed his back, shoulders, and neck. He had expected his arousal to wilt during the penetration but found himself throbbing in impending release.

Thorin rocked into him carefully, probably minding his size. His face was buried in the side of Kili’s neck, his breaths cooling Kili’s sweat, his groans sensually muffled by Kili’s skin. His arms were gentle yet strong around Kili’s torso, keeping him up and stroking his damp skin as they moved together. Thorin moved slowly, withdrawing halfway and then sliding back in until he was fully encased in Kili’s tight molten core, amplifying Kili’s pleasure. He was undoubtedly capable of causing pain and the fact that he didn’t, made Kili dizzy. Kili could feel his internal muscles flutter around the girth whenever it slid in and clench greedily whenever Thorin pull away. The emptiness after the stretch, no matter how brief and how little, ached. He moaned whenever he was filled completely again and clutched around the length, wanting it deep inside him as much as possible, and the kisses Thorin rained upon his skin further enveloped him in pleasure.

They moved in synchrony to share pleasure with each other. Apart from occasional sharp thrusts, Thorin take Kili apart slowly, caressing every sensitive inch inside Kili. It shouldn’t be enough yet it overwhelmed Kili’s senses. Just the constant caress against his pleasure spot, no matter how little the friction, reduced him into a shaking and panting mess. Kili moaned and panted for breath, pushing back eagerly. Pleasure coiled deep in his stomach tighter and tighter until, surprisingly, Kili came without a single touch.

Thorin’s large hand was immediately on him, stroking him through the intense orgasm, making him whine and whimper. His arms shook badly. They would’ve failed to support him if not for Thorin’s arm around him, keeping him in place. Thorin pressed little kisses on Kili’s shoulders until the last drop of seed had been spilt on his hand. Only then did he lean away, letting Kili drop his upper body, pillowing his head with his arms, unable to support himself. He stilled and caressed Kili’s back, letting him catch his breath. It took an unusually long time for Kili to collect himself, dazed by pleasure and overwhelmed by care as he was. He wanted to hide, to take time to understand this dwarf he was supposed to entertain for weeks to come, to relearn to control himself in front of him, but the way Thorin’s cock filled him, stretching him relentlessly and reaching deep inside him was impossible to ignore. Kili still had a job to finish.

Once Kili’s panting stopped, a quick squeeze on his hips was his only warning of what was coming. Kili gasped as he was pounded into, the sudden change from gentle rhythm and his recent orgasm confused Kili with pleasure. Yet, he could sense that Thorin hadn’t unleashed all of his power, still so careful despite being clearly in need of release. Kili tightened himself, trying to entice Thorin into doing what he wanted regardless of Kili’s condition. But, Thorin merely groaned and gripped Kili’s hips tighter. His thrusts drove breaths out of Kili, but they were far from the brutality Kili had expected and knew he could deliver. Relieved to be spared from pain yet worried that he might not have performed his task well, Kili met the thrusts, faking eagerness to have Thorin deep inside him and winning a hoarse groan of his name.

When he finally came, Thorin did so with a loud satisfied moan. His grip on Kili tightened even more, likely leaving fingerprints on his skin, as he pressed his hips close to Kili, filling him to the brim. Thorin pulsed and twitched inside Kili’s gripping passage for a long minute, his seed slicking the muscles. He leaned down and nosed the back of Kili’s neck, groaning softly as his hips undulated instinctively. Panting slightly, Kili waited for Thorin to finish and withdraw from him but Thorin took his time, even mouthing Kili’s shoulder when he had stopped moving, as if reluctant to pull away. When he eventually did, Kili winced at the sudden and painful emptiness, his hole trying to clench over the girth that had just stretched it perfectly. But this uncomfortable emptiness was a relief, as it meant that Kili’s duty was over, at least for now.

Just as Kili tried to rise to redress and leave, Thorin pulled him back down to bed. Kili blinked in confusion when he was made to lie beside Thorin and rest his head on Thorin’s shoulder. Thorin didn’t seem to notice this reaction, acting as if this was completely normal, and put an arm over Kili’s shoulders to keep him close, his thumb drawing slow affectionate circles on Kili’s damp skin. Kili looked at him in uncertainty. People never lingered or expected him to, unless they wanted a second session. However, Thorin fell asleep a few minutes later with his arms around Kili without attempting anything.

As he watched Thorin sleep, Kili’s imagination ran away from him. He wondered if this was how it felt to sleep in the arm of a lover, someone who cared for more than what physical pleasure he could bring. But, he quickly brought himself back to reality. They’re not lovers. No one loved whores. This was only a business transaction.

When he was sure that Thorin wouldn’t wake, Kili slipped out of the bed and then the room. He returned to his own room and cleaned himself. Though the task of wiping away evidence of coupling was familiar, Kili did so slowly, distracted by the thoughts of Thorin. He touched the pink marks left on his neck and chest. For once they’re not leftovers of violence but of pleasure. The memory of how Thorin had left them there brought unexpected heat deep inside him and Kili dropped his hand guiltily. He quickly changed into his sleepwear and went to bed, feeling very confused, a little disturbed, and perfectly sated. Despite the conflicting feelings, he almost immediately fell into the deepest untroubled sleep he had ever had, satisfied to the bone.


	3. A Ray of Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... I just realized I haven't updated this for way too long. Sorry about that. I completely forgot and got too excited doing other things for this ship (read: making gifsets). It's definitely not abandoned. I'm just very forgetful.

People stared at Thorin whenever he visited Ered Luin. His fine clothes indicated that he wasn’t a common dwarf and possibly wealthier than any dwarf there. That alone drew a lot of attention, but that wasn’t the only surprising part of Thorin’s presence. Many were surprised when he was introduced as Vilir’s brother-in-law. For so long Kili’s family had been a part of the unwanted portion of the society that people had forgotten that once they had been a respectable family. Once, they had been able to walk among the people with their heads held high, greeting friends and neighbors who invited them for a drink. Now, the few people who didn’t look at them derisively from a distance were surprised to find them acquainted with a respectable dwarf. Vilir seemed to think that it’s something to be proud of and tried to be seen with Thorin in public as much as possible, but Kili stayed away unless he had to. He had enough reminders of how badly things had become.

Admittedly, some good things did happen with Thorin’s arrival to Ered Luin. The first thing Kili noticed was that Dis started smiling again. When Kili first saw it, it gave him a pause, having almost forgotten the look of happiness upon her face. She and Thorin were talking about a time long gone and a place a world away, something Kili could never fully understand no matter how many times Dis spoke fondly of them. But Thorin understood this and brought back the memory of a better time with few words and even his mere presence. When they were speaking in private, Dis had such a longing look on her face and Thorin, too, seemed gentler. Kili tried not to disturb them when they’re together, wanting to give Dis this sliver of happiness before it’s once again taken away.

Fili was still uncomfortable around Thorin, but he always listened in rapt attention when Thorin spoke of the world outside Ered Luin. As a merchant, Thorin had travelled far and wide, collecting experience that he shared with Fili. Kili recognized in Fili’s face curiosity and, after a while, wanderlust. One day he quietly admitted to Kili that he now wanted to explore the world to find a better life than what they currently had, but the weight of responsibility stopped him. Kili tried to convince him to leave, knowing that there was greater opportunity for him out there than here in Ered Luin near their corrupt father. However, no matter what he said to convince Fili, Fili refused to listen and Kili eventually gave up. Nevertheless Fili’s curiosity of the world continued to burn. Kili hoped one day he would give in to it, regardless of who he had to leave behind.

Vilir spent slightly less time gambling and no longer invited strange dwarfs into his house. Perhaps this was done to give good impression to Thorin rather than for Kili’s sake, but Kili was grateful nonetheless. In a way, he still had to sell himself, but it was different from before. No longer did strange dwarfs come to his room sporadically, his duty with Thorin was nightly. And unlike many, Thorin never hurt him either with action or words. After a while, Kili could almost forget how wrong it was to share a bed with his uncle.

Kili accompanied Thorin as often as possible, dropping light touches to remind Thorin of Kili’s willingness to entertain him. Though he knew the importance of his cooperation in his father’s plan, Kili silently lamented the lost time he could spend earning money. Indeed, Thorin could help his family, but that help would come later and some expenses couldn’t wait. Northri had lent them some gold, but Kili wasn’t sure how long it would last, especially since Vilir threw a small feast every evening to please Thorin. There was also a chance that Thorin wouldn’t help at all, as he didn’t seem to favor Vilir all that much. He kept a polite distance between him and Vilir and sometimes there’s a hint of wariness in the way he regarded his brother in-law-not a promising sign for certain. This served to make Kili more focused on winning Thorin’s sympathy, although he still couldn’t help but watch forlornly and guiltily as Fili took up more work to cover the responsibility he should be able to take.

Despite Kili’s efforts, however, Thorin was a passive recipient of Kili’s seduction. He didn’t openly show his appreciation, but he didn’t refuse Kili’s presence in his bed, either. He gave little directions and mostly allowed Kili to do whatever he wanted, excepting the moment near his peak when his touch roughened and he took Kili harshly, although he still took care not to hurt him. It’s quite a change from others before who had quickly taken advantage of Kili’s willingness and it confused Kili, but he was determined to soften Thorin. Thorin was different from them, after all. He was a respectable dwarf, far less likely to fall into the vices Kili’s father’s acquaintances so often indulged themselves in. He was nicer, unbearably gentle, still kissing Kili a lot, still holding Kili very closely as they rocked as one although Kili had made it perfectly clear that he was willing to do any depraved thing Thorin asked of him and bear any force Thorin exerted on him. But perhaps that was his brand of cruelty. Kili was used to force but he had little defense against kindness. Thorin soon found ways to make him beg and cry out for more, breaking his control, making him ask for pleasure, ruining him more and more. Every night Kili laid in Thorin’s arms, trembling in the throes of passion, wondering what he had become, wondering how far more tainted he could be.

* * *

“I’ve heard,” Thorin said as they caught their breaths on his bed, his arm draped across Kili’s back. As usual, he had pulled Kili into his arms after spending himself, something Kili by now had learnt not to fight. “About your father. But I was still surprised.”

Kili flinched but quickly hid it by snuggling close to Thorin and burying his face in his shoulder. “What have you heard?” he asked, trying not to let nervousness entered his voice. It was humiliating enough that Vilir’s use of him was known in certain circles in Ered Luin. Kili didn’t know what to do if that knowledge had reached Erebor.

Thorin stroked Kili’s side. “That he has found a way to escape his debts. I didn’t expect it to be this way, however.”

“It works,” Kili tried to say nonchalantly, pulling away from Thorin a little. It was one thing to mutually acknowledge what Kili did, but another thing entirely to verbally discuss it. The words were sour in Kili’s mouth and he didn’t want to speak of the matter further. Unfortunately, Thorin, as usual, had a different plan.

“Indeed,” Thorin agreed, searching for Kili’s eyes. “Does Vilir make Fili do this as well?”

Kili shook his head. “No. You know Fili works in a smithy.”

Thorin raised an eyebrow at that answer. “And this is what you do for a living?”

Despite everything they had done together, Kili was rather insulted that Thorin thought he spent all his time luring dwarfs into his bed for his father’s sake, that he supported his destructive habit. The pride he was raised with and usually ignored, reared its head. He didn’t approve of gambling and never would. Not after what it had done to his family. “Of course not!” he argued indignantly.

Thorin quirked an eyebrow at him. “No?”

Kili pursed his lips, annoyed that Thorin thought so little of him. It was true that Kili barely did anything not related to Thorin since he arrived and that Kili never said anything about himself (because Thorin never asked!), but Kili was more than a sex object rented to pay his father’s debts! “I help our neighbors sometimes to do repairs and herd their cattle. I also hunt to help my family. Or at least I used to.” Kili stopped. He hadn’t hunted since Vilir realized how he could help him, since he realized that many dwarfs lusted after Kili and were willing to give many things for a few hours with him. He wasn’t to risk his life when he could use his body to please Vilir’s debtors. Kili looked away, thinking of the passion he had to sacrifice for his father’s debilitating addiction.

“So you can put up a fight,” Thorin commented.

Kili stiffened, realizing what he had done. He wasn’t supposed to argue. He wasn’t supposed to fight. He wasn’t to say no. He here to please, to agree with everything Thorin said, to give everything Thorin wanted. A frisson of fear ran through him when he thought that he might have displeased Thorin.

When Kili looked at him, wide-eyed with worry, however, Thorin merely tilted his head. “I thought for sure you’re as soft as an elf.”

The insult, too similar to the ones he so often heard about his looks, incensed Kili again. “Of course I can!” he said although he took care not to say it too forcefully.

But Thorin merely raised an eyebrow and covered his lips with his. After a second (Kili was still not used to Thorin’s apparent fondness for kissing), Kili returned it, pressing his body close to Thorin, this time fighting for dominance in the kiss instead of instantly surrendering. He pushed when being pulled and defiantly raked his nails on Thorin’s chest, making him hiss. He lost eventually because he had to, but when Thorin pinned him down and took him again, harder than he ever had before, Kili felt proud for making Thorin lose some of his control, until he remembered what he was doing and who was with him in bed. He wasn’t supposed to be proud. He wasn’t supposed to feel anything, except disgust at himself. He barely waited for Thorin to sleep soundly before he returned to his room to scrub his skin clean and raw, but the tenderness of his entrance was a constant reminder and Kili slept that night feeling guilty for not feeling badly.

* * *

Kili jumped when Thorin threw him a sword. He caught the weapon just before it hit his chest. He recognized the weapon and the one Thorin was holding as the training swords Dis had used many decades ago to teach him and Fili how to fight. Kili had thought Vilir had sold them in desperation despite them not being finely crafted and wondered how Thorin had managed to find them.

“Do you know how to use swords?” Thorin asked as he inspected his sword. Behind him, Dis looked worried, caught between letting Thorin do whatever he pleased to make him happy and protecting her son.

“Mother taught me a long time ago,” Kili replied hesitantly, glancing at his mother.

Thorin nodded in satisfaction and held his sword in front of him, his form perfect, poised to attack. Combined with his size, he made quite an intimidating sight. “Show me what you learnt.”

Once again, Kili looked at Dis, but she only looked on in mute horror, unlikely to help her son. Kili must admit that he wasn’t confident in his combat skill as he never had any chance or reason to use it. Thorin, on the other hand, was clearly familiar with using it, if the scars littering his body were any indication. The outcome was clear and even though they’re using dull swords, Kili was still worried. But, Thorin looked at him expectantly, clearly unwilling to drop the challenge, so Kili unsheathed the sword given to him. After all, his duty was to please Thorin.

The first contact between the swords made Kili flinch in surprise. He staggered backward under the force Thorin exerted on him. Thorin must know that Kili was unskilled but Kili saw no mercy in his eyes. Instead, he saw assessing look tinged with displeasure. The corners of his lips suddenly quirked up in a condescending smirk Kili had seen so often on others. Driven by pride, Kili managed to summon the strength he gained from manual works and pushed Thorin back.

This time, when Thorin attacked him again, Kili was ready. He gripped the handle of his sword tightly as he blocked blow after blow. Annoyance demanded him to attack instead of defend, but his lack of experience disabled him from using the few opportunities he had. He relied on instinct to prevent Thorin’s sword from injuring him but it seemed that the weapon crept closer and closer to his body with every passing second. Under Thorin’s relentless assaults, Kili moved further and further back until his back hit a tree and he gasped in surprise. Thorin used the brief moment he was stunned to charge. He held his sword against Kili’s neck as he trapped Kili there with his body.

Despite knowing that this was an expected result, Kili was upset. “That’s not fair!” he protested.

“How was that not fair?” Thorin asked without removing his sword from Kili’s neck.

“You’re clearly well-trained and I’m not, but you fought me as if we’re equal!”

Thorin narrowed his eyes. “If I had fought you as if you’re my equal, you would’ve been bleeding to death moments ago, lad,” he said, his gravely voice sending shivers down Kili’s spine.

Much to Kili’s embarrassment, his body reacted to the voice, having been used to it sighing and moaning by his ears in the past couple of weeks. He took a deep breath, ordering his body to calm down, and focused on what Thorin had just said. “Are you trying to kill me?”

That gained an amused smirk from Thorin. He finally stepped back and removed his sword from Kili’s neck. “It’s dull sword. I won’t kill you.”

“But you’ll try,” Kili groused, touching his neck where the metal had pressed against his aorta. He felt no wound there but the skin tingled with the phantom pressure and adrenaline still surged through his body.

“I do know how to stop.”

“But you didn’t do it,” Kili pointed out.

For a second Thorin looked guilty, but one second was all Kili needed. Without any preamble, he attacked Thorin, aiming for his heart. It was by sheer luck that Thorin managed to block the weapon at the last second. Kili could tell that he was surprised from the slight widening of his eyes. He grinned.

“That’s cheating.”

“If you play unfair, so will I!” Kili said before striking once again, swinging his sword quite haphazardly with the hope of making Thorin drop his weapon.

Unsurprisingly, Thorin avoided this attack. He didn’t use the chance to attack Kili, however, and merely studied at him. Slowly, a smirk grew on his face and he nodded. “Very well.”

They spent the next few hours sparring, forcing Kili to recall his past lessons. Thorin still defeated him, but the discrepancy between their skills diminished slightly, although Thorin was still far more superior to Kili. Kili felt sore, not used to this type of strenuous activity, but he relished it. He had forgotten this excitement, had forgotten the pleasure of pushing his physical limits for fighting instead of pleasuring. At the end of the spar, long after Dis had decided that they wouldn’t harm each other and gone inside the house, Thorin defeated Kili one last time. He pushed Kili to the ground, the impact causing Kili to release his sword, and held the tip of his sword right above Kili’s frantically beating heart. They stared at each other for a moment, assessing each other’s condition, before Kili broke into a breathless laughter.

Kili didn’t know why he laughed-he had lost, after all-but still his veins thrummed with excitement and satisfaction. The remnants of adrenaline urged him to reach for his weapon or try to push Thorin away despite knowing that he would accomplish little. But the mere thought of it still made him happy. The idea of struggling and even pushing Thorin back no matter how little, excited him. He didn’t care about the result, the bruises and defeat sure to come. He just wanted to fight-and he had fought! He had surprised Thorin a few times and avoided otherwise dangerous attacks often. Now his body ache and he couldn’t move without injuring himself, but he was filled with joy for the first time in too many years.

Above him, Thorin looked at him strangely, probably not expecting his reaction, but then he scoffed and put his sword away. He didn’t laugh but his eyes and smile were mirthful. Just as Kili’s laughter started to subside, Thorin bent down to place a kiss on his grinning mouth. Kili wanted to comment on how out of place it was to kiss after a fight, but he was too happy to start an argument. Kili smiled into the kiss. Despite Thorin’s larger body covering him and keeping him in place, he had never felt more free.

* * *

The bed groaned under them. Kili gasped sharply as he was pushed down to the mattress. Above him, Thorin smirked victoriously. Kili let him thought he had won and waited until he leaned down to kiss him before clamping Thorin’s hips with his thighs. With a grunt, he tried to reverse their position but he had only gotten halfway when Thorin realized what was happening and refused to budge. Instead, he gripped Kili’s thigh and held his back and pushed him against the headboard. He held Kili’s fighting arms tightly and pushed closer until their bodies were pressed together when Kili refused to still, bucking and trying to pull his hands out of Thorin’s strong grips. Under them, the wooden bed frame wobbled and creaked dangerously.

“The bed!” Kili cried out, stilling.

Thorin stopped as well. They breathed hard in unison, apprehensively waiting for the old and abused bed to collapse under them. Seconds passed and when nothing happened, Kili burst into laughter, followed by Thorin’s quiet chuckle. Thorin released Kili’s hands, though he didn’t move away. He needn’t be worried for more fight, however. Kili was too busy laughing to continue their little game.

It had started the usual way, this night. Kili had gone to Thorin’s room and undressed himself and then Thorin. They had kissed and caressed each other as Thorin liked to do. But then Thorin playfully pinned Kili’s arms to the bed with a mischievous glint in his eyes and Kili couldn’t let it pass. The next thing he knew they were wrestling, trying to gain the upper hand or bring the other into submission. Their arousal had disappeared some time during the struggle but Kili felt happier than any release could make him and, judging by Thorin’s warm chuckles, he felt the same.

“Careful now! This bed isn’t made for wrestling!” Kili chided laughingly.

Thorin grunted in reply. “Beds are generally not made for wrestling,” he said, though he pulled away from Kili all the same. He lay down and pulled Kili with him.

Kili sighed happily as he settled beside Thorin. “Are you really a merchant and not a warrior? You seem to be a well-trained fighter!”

Scoffing, Thorin replied, “I am a merchant, though I have experience in fighting.”

Kili’s curiosity was piqued. He considered the sword fighting and wrestling skills Thorin had displayed. He had never seen a warrior fight (though he had witnessed many drunken brawls), but he felt that Thorin’s skills were equal to an experienced warrior. He gazed down Thorin’s battle-scarred body. Many questions formed in his mind and one in particular he couldn’t hold back.

“Have you ever killed anyone?”

Thorin raised an eyebrow. He took a while to answer, studying Kili carefully, though what he had in mind Kili didn’t know. His heavy hand on Kili’s waist suggested that he wasn’t angry, however, so Kili wasn’t worried. He waited for Thorin’s answer and tried not to fidget in impatience. After all, his role wasn’t to demand.

“Yes,” Thorin finally said, clear and certain.

Kili blinked. He didn’t know why he was surprised. Thorin was clearly a good fighter and Kili suspected this wasn’t the first time he bedded a killer. Surely among the questionable dwarfs his father had brought to him, there were some who had committed the crime. Still, this was the first time someone confessed it to him since the others before Thorin were secretive about their endeavors. “Who?”

“Robbers,” Thorin said calmly, still looking at Kili closely. “When our family business was still growing, I worked as a guard and assistant when goods needed to be delivered to other cities. Sometimes there were fools who tried to take my goods.”

Kili nodded and looked at Thorin’s body again. He had always ignored the scars, seeing them simply as a part of Thorin, but now he wondered about the stories behind them. His eyes fell to a faint scar tissue on Thorin’s chest, just over his heart. When he first noticed it, he had dismissed it as a result of childhood accident, or something equally innocuous. Now, though, he began to think the scar had darker history than innocent childhood adventure.

“Did you get this from one of those robbers?” Kili asked, caressing the scar tissue with his fingertips.

Thorin’s breath was caught for a moment before he answered. “Yes. One of them got lucky. It wasn’t a deep injury, however, and healed quickly.”

Kili hummed thoughtfully, frowning at the scar. The bandit must have been very good if he managed to injure Thorin. He wondered what other dangers Thorin had faced, whether any had come close to harming him the way this robber had. “Did you kill him?”

Thorin nodded. “I did.” He smiled when Kili grinned in satisfaction. “Does it bother you?” he asked in a softer voice.

“Why would it?” Kili asked, frowning.

For the first time since they met, Thorin seemed unsure. “I’m under the impression that you prefer… more respectable dwarfs.”

Kili blinked and then looked away, fixing his gaze on the many scars littering Thorin’s body, instead. He knew that by respectable Thorin meant born into unlimited wealth, a concept often tied to dwarfs who spent more time crouched over their chests of gold than menial works, let alone fight bandits; dwarfs who had forgotten or never knew about tiring physical works. Kili couldn’t confirm or deny it, as the truth was he had no preference, whether in economic status or physical attributes. He never had the opportunity to find what he wanted in a partner. When his father first brought someone to his bed, he had been untouched but by himself and cared only about useless activities to spend his past times. Relationship had been far from his mind and afterward it had never been a possibility. He welcomed whoever Vilir brought to him regardless of appearance or occupation. If there’s anything that he wanted from a dwarf, it would be less cruelty, but his thoughts didn’t matter. It was only about what was more helpful for Vilir and what helped Vilir the most was wealth, which usually either came with dwarfs carrying enough scar tissues who physically bent Kili to their wills or those whose hands were soft due to lack of labor but whose tongues and touches hurt more than any force could harm him. Kili hid a bitter smile. It was true that he had had many wealthy dwarfs in his bed, but he couldn’t think of a single one worthy of respect.

A gentle stroke down his side pulled Kili out of his dark thoughts. He looked at Thorin’s gentle expression. He was battle scarred and still possessed the skill and strength to kill on top of willingly bedding his own nephew, yet he had more honor than all the dwarfs Kili had been with combined. It wasn’t because of his wealth-which, true, was unparalleled in Ered Luin-but the way he treated Kili so kindly despite being capable of hurting him, despite Kili’s willingness to bear pain if it so pleased him. He had power over Kili and his family, but he didn’t abuse it. Kili didn’t know honor-he had lost his and forgotten how to recognize it in the midst of others’ eagerness to further defile him. But the carefulness of Thorin’s hands, the gentleness of his touch, the soft glow of his eyes, the happiness and hope he brought to Kili’s life, reminded him of it again. This dwarf who was marred by many battles and perhaps numerous hardships yet still maintained his compassion deserved the greatest honor anyone could give.

“You are a most honorable dwarf.” Kili laughed when Thorin looked at him in surprise. “A few battle scars don’t make anyone any less of a person. Now, did you find any danger on your way here?” he asked eagerly.

“No. The road is quite safe nowadays. There are guard posts along the way and orcs and goblins had been driven away, so I had little trouble reaching Ered Luin.”

“Was it more dangerous before?” Kili asked curiously.

“Yes. Littered with criminals and goblins. Few dared to pass it. It wasn’t advisable to go here. That’s why I’ve never come before.” Thorin paused, seeming to think something. He sobered up quickly, however, and smirked and nudged Kili lightly. “Why? Are you disappointed that I arrived safely?”

Kili shook his head vehemently. “Of course not! I’m only wondering about the road. I’ve never seen it-I’ve never left Ered Luin. Mother and father obviously have been to many places, but Ered Luin is all Fili and I know.”

Thorin’s smirk melted into a smile and he pulled Kili closer. “One day you’ll see the world outside of this place,” he said, his voice soft.

Kili scoffed lightly. As long as he was still useful for his family, he wouldn’t be able to leave. And when he was unable to help his family anymore? Kili didn’t like to think of that. It wasn’t a thought to share with Thorin, however. Kili wasn’t here to share woes and he didn’t think Thorin would care to hear them. “Perhaps,” Kili said mildly. “And then I’ll be killed the second I step out of the town!” he joked.

“You won’t,” Thorin said, still smiling. “Not if you work on your skill with the sword.”

“I suppose so,” Kili said, stretching his body. He winced when his overworked muscles protested the motion. “I’m out of practice. I’m very sore just from our spar today.”

Kili raised an eyebrow when Thorin’s hand flew to his back. He couldn’t utter a word of question or protest, however, as immediately Thorin massaged knotted muscles, easing his soreness. He made himself pliant, closing his eyes and moaning softly as Thorin worked his shoulders, releasing the painful tension there. It wasn’t a proper massage, but still it helped relax the sore knots under his skin. Kili sighed and smiled, savoring the rare kindness. He settled himself more firmly on top of Thorin to allow him better access to his back without relinquishing his proximity with Thorin. Most had only seen his body as an object to bring him pleasure, but Thorin was, as in many other things, different in this regard. Kili didn’t know what exactly Thorin gained from doing this to him, but he had learned not to ask. Every dwarf had his own preferences. Perhaps this was Thorin. At any rate, Kili tried to enjoy it while he could

Kili had almost forgotten his duty when Thorin’s hardness brushed his thigh. He glanced down and smiled at the sight of Thorin’s flushed erection. Indeed, it seemed that Thorin has unusual demands in bed. Kili didn’t complain, however. His own desire hadn’t returned, but he knew that Thorin knew how to best bring him pleasure. Kili threw his leg over Thorin’s hip to straddle him and then guided Thorin to his entrance. It had been a while since he prepared himself, but he should still be loose enough to take Thorin’s girth without pain.

“I thought you said you’re sore,” Thorin asked. He stopped massaging Kili’s back and held his hip instead, neither pulling nor pushing, patient as always.

Kili smiled cheekily. “I don’t mind this kind of soreness.”

Thorin huffed but didn’t argue. He watched Kili carefully when he moaned as the thick head slipped into his still-stretched entrance. It took Kili a moment to adjust to the intrusion, trembling slightly above Thorin. His body tightened, the initial reaction of refusing the girth never disappeared even as the reminder of the pleasure of being filled began to burn within Kili. He bit his lip, willing his body to relax. For a moment it seemed impossible-his body too small to take Thorin.

Gentle touches made Kili look up, surprised, when Thorin drew light circles on his hips with his thumb. Though slight flush had spread across Thorin’s fair skin, though he absolutely could, he didn’t pull Kili down to envelop his cock. This care, so rarely found in his life, brought a smile to Kili’s lips and he started to relax. He gripped Thorin’s arm as he lowered himself and the length slowly slid into him. The penetration burnt slightly and his internal muscles quivered as they accommodate the impressive girth, but Kili sighed in satisfaction, content to be filled. Again, he waited for his body to adjust. The stretch inside him, the warmth around him, and Thorin’s hands stroking his thighs reignited his arousal and his cock twitched, interest slowly returning. Licking his lips, Kili looked at Thorin from beneath half-lidded eyes, taking in the sight of a dwarf who could bring him pain but gave him pleasure, instead. Thorin’s glazed eyes drifted to his lips and a large hand reached up to pull him down. Kili went willingly and opened his lips for his mouth to be thoroughly plundered, slowly at first, then with more passion. Kili moaned quietly and began to move, fucking himself on Thorin’s cock. As they rocked together, Kili traced the thin scar over Thorin’s heart and he kissed Thorin back the harder, glad for the gentleness, glad that Thorin was still alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha. I think you can tell that I've been working on very strange documents at work lately. Anyways, come visit me on [tumblr](http://demonessryu.tumblr.com/) to remind me if I forget to update again or discuss this pretty ship.


	4. Under the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, very sorry for the delay. I haven't forgotten this fic. I just got busy with survival and the King's Bride, which requires my full attention to write and edit. Just. Remind me not to get too ambitious with my fics ideas. Or any idea in general. I stress myself out by thinking too big.
> 
> Warning for non-consensual blowjob.

Vilir was pleased with the development of Kili and Thorin’s relationship. He never said it out loud, of course, nor did he show it in gestures. Kili saw that in his self-satisfied smile and the way he left Thorin alone with Kili more and more. Kili didn’t object. Without Vilir nearby, Thorin was more carefree, more relaxed and open to Kili, making it easier for him to get close to Thorin. And if Kili were honest, he rather enjoyed this side of Thorin.

Though Thorin was unimpressed by what Ered Luin had to offer, he was quite charmed by its countryside. Far from the bustling activities in the town, nature was more dominant. Buildings were few and far in between and they saw more cattle than dwarfs. Blue Mountain looked more impressive seen from this vantage point than from directly below it. The cloud covering its tip and the flocks of birds flying across it emphasized its great size, although according to Thorin it was smaller still than the Lonely Mountain. In Erebor, however, forest was located rather far from the settlement area and Kili had a distinct impression that Thorin disliked it. He seemed to like the forest in Ered Luin, however, stopping every now and then to observe unusual plants and animals Kili pointed out to him.

“You are quite skillful in hunting, aren’t you?” Thorin observed when Kili pointed to a near-hidden squirrel on a tree some distance away from them.

Kili shrugged, smiling, feeling proud of being complimented despite himself. “I had some skill. I guess I haven’t forgotten.”

“I wish I could say that about your sword fighting skill.”

Kili scowled at Thorin playfully and was greeted by a smirk. “I wasn’t taught that much while you’re clearly well-trained. It’s not a fair comparison! And I have gotten better!”

“You have,” Thorin agreed. “You should practice more.”

“I have little use for it,” Kili said, shaking his head. Vilir wouldn’t let the dwarf who had saved him from his debtors come to harm’s way. He had banned Kili from hunting. It was unlikely that he would let Kili go anywhere near bandits. Kili would be safe from danger, whether he liked it or not.

“I don’t have much use for it, either, but it’s best to be prepared. My cousin, Dwalin visits every so often and we always have a spar. He’s a soldier for hire and I learn my skill from him.”

“Cousin?” Kili asked, intrigued. The name sounded vaguely familiar. Perhaps Dis had mentioned this Dwalin in the past but Kili couldn’t remember him. Kili told Thorin as much and received a nod.

“We have a large extended family, although most of us live far from each other. There is Dwalin, whom I just mentioned, and his older brother, Balin. They are close friends of mine. Balin works for me, so I often meet him, but Dwalin travels extensively. There are also Oin and Gloin. Gloin is my financial advisor and Oin is a healer, or used to be a healer. He doesn’t work as much now after dropping Gloin’s newborn son.”

“He dropped a newborn baby?” Kili asked in disbelieve.

Thorin nodded, smirking. “Gimli survived, though some would say he’s a little odd because of the accident. He’s a little younger than you but has proven to be quite a promising dwarf. I plan to employ him when he’s older when, hopefully, he has learnt not to insult anything which crosses his way.”

“That trait seems familiar,” Kili said cheekily.

Thorin raised an eyebrow. “If you think my temper is difficult, you should see my cousin, Dain.”

Kili laughed. “I dare not imagine!”

Thorin watched Kili intently as he laughed. Kili noticed he did that quite a lot lately, although he couldn’t understand why. He guessed it’s because when he first arrived Kili had faked happiness. Fili and Dis always said he wasn’t a good liar, so it’s likely that Thorin had seen through the lie now that he was better acquainted with Kili. The thought made Kili felt a little guilty but he took comfort in the fact that Thorin still treated him well. Surely if he were offended, he would made that perfectly clear and Kili wouldn’t be here, laughing jovially as if there wasn’t a single thing wrong with the world. Kili smiled to Thorin, feeling grateful for the opportunity to know this strange dwarf, no matter the circumstance.

Thorin cleared his throat and looked away. “Let’s rest over there,” he said, pointing to a meadow.

Kili obeyed and soon they sat side by side on the meadow, enjoying the scenery. Various flowers bloomed on the garden, presenting them with a colorful tapestry of nature. At this time of the day the sun wasn’t too unbearably hot yet. Kili turned his face to the sky, basking in the warmth of the sunlight. Winds came every so often to cool him and the rustling of plants around him was music to his ears. He felt no need to speak and neither did Thorin. They simply enjoyed the scenery without commentary, immortalizing the moment in their memories. Kili couldn’t remember feeling so content. Maybe he had felt this way before, when he was still free and safe from the dangers of greed a lust, but that was a long time ago and he had forgotten. This was why he preferred working in the open rather than mines. The beauty of nature, the caresses of wind, the chirping of birds, and the fragrant scent of fertile soil and fresh grass and flowers brought peace as no darkness and precious stones could ever produce. He understood the safety that dwarfs often felt within the earth, but out here there was freedom that he craved.

Of course the freedom was an illusion. He couldn’t leave his sad life behind without thought to pursue a future free from humiliation. He was bound here as tightly as those tall trees in the forest were rooted to the land. Perhaps he should feel more bitter, perhaps he should shy away from a dream so far-fetched, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Kili closed his eyes and smiled. Whatever the situation of his family, whatever he had been and would be reduced to, at the moment he was content, at the moment he was safe, at the moment he was free. He forced back thoughts of how it would come to an end. Of course nothing lasts forever. For Kili, specifically, peace never lasted, but he intended to enjoy it before it slipped away.

Lost in thoughts, Kili was startled when suddenly Thorin kissed him. His eyes flew open, revealing blue sky above. Fear turned his blood cold at the thought of being touched outside the relative privacy of his house. He tried to protest but Thorin held him vast by the back of his head, deepening the kiss until Kili was moaning breathlessly, his hands pressing against Thorin’s chest in useless attempt to keep him away. Before he knew it, he was laying on the grass with Thorin on top of him, still kissing him passionately.

“Not here,” Kili gasped when the kiss finally broke. He had done many things with the dwarfs before Thorin, but never in public, never where people could see and confirm their suspicion that he sold his body for the lowliest dwarfs. The flowers around them weren’t tall enough to hide them from view and they weren’t so far from the path they had taken that any passerby wouldn’t see what they were doing. They could get caught anytime, ruining what little good reputation Kili’s family had, what little hope for improving condition they had.

But Thorin ignored him, kissing his neck and slipping his large hands into Kili’s tunic. Kili’s fingers dug into the ground below him as lust heated his body. He bit his lip to silence a moan when Thorin teased his nipple while sucking a mark on the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. Many nights spent together had taught Thorin well how to make Kili react. Any other time, Kili would welcome his care, but this time he wanted Thorin to stop touching him. Panicking slightly, Kili tried to wriggle free when Thorin undid his trousers but Thorin’s weight on top of him kept him from moving away.

“Stop,” Kili laughed nervously, pushing at Thorin’s shoulders as he looked around the meadow for watching eyes. He knew he couldn’t push Thorin away by force, but perhaps he could convince him with words.

“There’s no one here,” Thorin growled as he tried to push Kili’s trousers down.

“Someone might walk by,” Kili argued, for once refusing to cooperate.

Surprisingly, this time, Thorin let him push him away. Kili nearly breathed a sigh of relief when Thorin scooted lower. Quickly, he pulled Kili’s trousers lower until they reached the middle of Kili’s thighs and restricted the movement of his legs. He ignored Kili’s indignant and fearful protest and Kili’s attempt to push him away only made him frown slightly as he knelt between his legs. He spared only a glance at Kili’s face, his attention was focused elsewhere. There was a hunger Kili had never seen before on his face. Thorin was far from the composed dwarf he knew, who fought not to use his full force on Kili even after Kili offered himself in his bed. This was confirmed when suddenly he bowed down to lick a stripe on Kili’s half hard prick.

“Thorin!” Kili exclaimed in surprise, sitting up. He covered his mouth and looked around him frantically, hoping he hadn’t drawn any attention with his voice. The meadow was still quiet and the road deserted, but fear of being found persisted. It was difficult to pay attention to their surroundings, however, when Thorin was licking his cock eagerly, turning Kili from half hard to fully hard in a short time with wet laps of his tongue. Kili moaned quietly as he fought the urge to push his hips into the teasing warmth of Thorin’s mouth, only scant inches away from his throbbing cock. Thorin’s tongue was agile, caressing every inch of him and tracing the veins of his cock until pre-spend beaded the tip of Kili’s cock. Then, he licked that away, too, with a dirty noise that made desire curl heavy in Kili’s abdomen. He began to ache for release, but he didn’t want it here in the open. “Let’s go home! We can’t do it here!” he begged, his voice strained with fear and lust.

But, Thorin didn’t reply. Instead he closed his mouth over the wet tip of Kili’s erection and sucked noisily. Kili cried out, not accustomed to the sensation, as bright white pleasure ran through his body. Early seed spilled from the slit, to be lapped away by tongue that caressed and prodded gently, as if starving for his taste. Kili keened, helpless, as he hardened further, his desire rising with every stroke of Thorin’s tongue. Encouraged by the noise, Thorin engulfed more of him in his mouth, his brilliantly warm wet mouth slowly sliding over Kili’s silky hardness until his nose brushed against Kili’s lower abdomen, his beard scratching Kili’s thighs. His mouth was warm, almost hot even, and his tongue was the most wicked and wonderful thing Kili had ever known. Weakened by the unexpected pleasure, Kili lay back down as Thorin pulled up with a noisy suck then covered Kili once again with his mouth. Kili gasped and moaned as Thorin bobbed his head on his lap, gently sucking on his aching cock. His powerful hand cradled the back of Kili’s thigh, massaging it, while his other hand gently rolled Kili’s stones as if to draw out his seed. He made no protest when Kili made aborted little thrusts into his mouth, restricted as he was by his own trousers. In fact, he hummed in pleasure, making Kili cry out as vibrations caressed his hard cock.

No one had ever done this to Kili before. They pushed him down to his knees and told him what to do, but they never showed him what it’s like to be on the receiving end. And why should they? It was his job to pleasure them but they were under no obligation to bring him any pleasure and it didn’t matter to them that he found their taste repulsive and the experience uncomfortable and humiliating. Now, with Thorin’s warm cavern around him and his tongue stroking him, Kili understood why so many demanded this act from him, why they moaned and groaned almost as if they were fucking him, why they sometimes used his mouth so roughly. He gasped, unable to slow the building pleasure pooled low in his belly. His heels dug into the earth, trying to find purchase to thrust into the heavenly warmth surrounding him. His cock twitched and leaked heavily inside Thorin’s mouth. Kili had never really liked the taste of seed but Thorin seemed to not mind it, his tongue flickering on his slit every time he pulled away, making Kili whine desperately. He wondered if Thorin would mind him properly thrusting into his mouth and his mind reeled at the thought of himself holding Thorin’s head close as he snapped his hips forward over and over again to find release in the warm cavern. As if reading his mind, Thorin took him deeply until his nose pushed against Kili’s abdomen and Kili’s cock pushed into his tight throat. It lasted only a moment but Kili cried out loudly all the same. His body began to tremble as he helplessly took the intense pleasure Thorin gave him. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

Tentatively, Kili ran a hand through Thorin’s dark hair, combing it as he chased his pleasure in Thorin’s perfect mouth. Thorin’s eyes flicked up then and for a moment Kili thought he’d ask him to remove his hand, but Thorin resumed his movements wordlessly. It was clearly an invitation, but no matter how fuddled his mind was, he didn’t dare to do more than lightly pushed down the back on Thorin’s head so that Kili’s cock slid into him just slightly deeper. Again, Thorin hummed, but didn’t protest and Kili wondered how many lucky lovers he had gently practiced with to be accustomed to it when Kili had needed to be broken many times to learn his lesson. Throwing back his head and biting back envy, Kili rocked into Thorin’s welcoming mouth, gasping quietly whenever the sensitive tip of his cock brushed against Thorin’s fluttering throat.

Kili bit his lip when a finger teases his perineum. It pressed against the patch of skin for a moment, making him whimper desperately, before moving lower to press against Kili’s tight entrance. Kili squirmed with anticipation as the single digit teased him, caressing and pressing against his fluttering ring of muscle. He tried to wait, but with every noisy slurp of Thorin made as he sucked him, his control was fraying. Impatiently, Kili pushed back against the finger, wordlessly asking Thorin to end his misery. That seemed to be what Thorin was waiting for. Dry, the thick finger just barely slipped inside before meeting natural resistance, but combined with a clever flicker of Thorin’s tongue Kili came with a shout which he quickly stopped by clasping his hand over his mouth. But there was no helping the desperate buck of his hips and the way he pushed Thorin’s head down while he spurted thick seed to coat Thorin’s mouth. He gasped and whimpered as Thorin sucked him enthusiastically, swallowing every drop from him until he was completely dry. His hands fell to the soft ground while he breathed heavily, not yet able to protest the attention but hoping it would cease soon. Eventually, Thorin pulled away and gave him a final lick that made him shudder. Panting harshly, Kili let Thorin kissed the side of his face and his neck, his steady breath caressing Kili’s heated skin.

Still trying to catch his breath, Kili checked his surroundings to ensure their privacy and sighed in relief when he found that they were still alone. The open setting still made him nervous, but he understood now that Thorin didn’t want to be refused. Swallowing the rising tide of fear, Kili turned his attention to the hardness pressing insistently against his thigh. “Let me…” Kili said, reaching down to Thorin’s confined cock. But when he struggled to undo Thorin’s trouser, Thorin gripped his wrist.

“It’s not necessary.” Thorin shook his head.

“But you have done that for me!” Kili protested. “I must…”

“I only did I wanted to do. There’s no need for reciprocation,” Thorin said with a finality in his voice, silencing Kili’s further protest.

Thorin merely pulled Kili close and waited for him to catch his breath. The proximity of his strong body calmed Kili, although not as easily as usual after the recent display of insistent lust. With the combination of the fragrant scent of flower, the gentle wind, warm sun, and peaceful silence, Kili began to convince himself that he had overreacted. After all, people rarely came to this side of Ered Luin, preferring the town or the mountain. It was very unlikely that someone had seen their indiscretion. Nevertheless, Kili didn’t want to risk being seen in intimate moment with Thorin and it seemed that Thorin had a preference for being seen. Kili frankly didn’t share it, but he mustn’t let his own likings get in the way—after all, he was meant to do anything Thorin wanted. Impatiently, he waited for Thorin’s ardor to cool so they could leave. As soon as Thorin’s heart stopped battering his ribs and he had relaxed, Kili sat up and gave him his most winsome smile.

“I think it’s time to go home.”

Fortunately, this time Thorin didn’t resist. Kili breathed a small sigh of relief as they left the lovely meadow. They walked home in relative silence, lost in the fine weather and their own thoughts. Kili mulled over their recent intimacy. It seemed that he had forgotten himself, assuming that he had any say in what Thorin wanted for him just because Thorin had treated him so gently. Thorin’s pleasure was still above Kili’s comfort. Kili still had to fulfill his requests no matter what it was, no matter what consequence he feared they would bring to his family. Yet, strangely Thorin hadn’t wanted a return of favor and only insisted on pleasuring Kili. This baffled Kili greatly. Wasn’t he supposed to satisfy Thorin? Or had he satisfied Thorin by eventually succumbing to his insistent mouth? Was it possible to be satisfied by only giving someone pleasure then denying their own? Even Kili searched for release when he willingly warm Thorin’s bed. So why did Thorin refuse his attention? Every dwarf Kili had serviced had simple singular demand. Thorin was the most unusual and confusing dwarf he had known yet.

Kili stilled when he saw a familiar dwarf sitting under a tree. His blood immediately ran cold. He hadn’t been able to see Northri from the meadow as he was hidden from view, but Northri would have been able to see him and Thorin. How long had he been there? Had he seen them? The distance was too great for him to see anything clearly, but he could have easily noticed that they hadn’t merely sat down and enjoyed the weather. Northri’s face gave away nothing, but he was one of the wealthiest dwarfs in Ered Luin for a reason—he could not be trusted. Too many had fallen for his tricks and into disrepair. Many dwarfs’ lives were destroyed by his cunning, Kili’s included. From the time he had been forced to spend with Northri, he had painfully learnt that there was rarely a moment he didn’t think of how to take advantage of others. Kili’s heart pounded in his chest when Northri approached him and Thorin.

“Mr. Thorin, I presume? I have heard about you. It’s good to finally see the dwarf everyone is talking about,” Northri said with an arrogant smile. “Northri, at your service.”

His necklaces tinkled, brushing against each other, when Northri bowed, his dark green coat brushed the ground. The soft pale fur lining the coat ruffled in the wind and the intricate golden and silver embroidery decorating his tunic gleamed under the sun. In Ered Luin, he constantly drew admiring gazes. Even Kili was reluctantly impressed by his appearance. Yet, before Thorin Northri looked a plebeian. Though Thorin’s attire was designed more for long travel on the road, he still looked far more regal than Northri. The thick dark fur combined with his tall stature made him look formidable even without weapon, and the few jewelries he did wear emphasized his class, rather than just his wealth. Thorin looked at Northri as a lord looked at his lowly subject, with calm impassiveness. Realizing this, Northri flushed in anger. Though he gritted his teeth and smiled, his eyes clearly conveyed his rage.

Thorin bowed back to Northri, but not as deeply as he liked. By any other standard, Thorin was being polite, but Northri was used to people revering and admiring him and took offense to Thorin’s lack of reaction. However, Thorin didn’t realize this. “Thorin, at yours.”

For a moment, Kili thought Northri would unleash his anger, but he took a deep breath and smiled jovially instead. “I was quite surprised when I heard about you. Vilir never told me about his brother in-law.”

“Are you his friend?” Thorin asked without offering any explanation for the omission.

Northri shrugged. “We’re close acquaintances. I’ve known him for years.” He turned to Kili, raising his thick eyebrow at Kili meaningfully. “I know his family very well, though. Isn’t that right, Kili?”

Kili wanted to deny that. His association with Northri was forced onto him. His knowledge of him was gained from painful encounters. His memory of their time together yielded only disgust and grief. But, as much as Kili wanted to deny and reject the association, he knew that Vilir would need Northri in the future—he wasn’t foolish enough to think that his father’s absence from the gambling table was permanent. It was important to keep Northri happy in any way necessary. This wouldn’t have been a problem in the past, but now, standing next to Thorin, suddenly it was difficult to submit. It was true that Thorin knew about what he did with other dwarfs, what use Vilir and others like him made of him, but Kili didn’t want Thorin to hear him say it out loud. In front of Thorin, who had treated him as if he were precious and worth caring for, Kili wanted to pretend he was not what he was forced to be, ignore the things he had done for his father. He wanted Thorin to think that he was even remotely worthy of his attention. Regardless of what had just happened, how he had been reminded that his needs were below Thorin’s, he still wanted a smidgeon of respect from him. Still, he couldn’t refute Northri, so he forced himself to smile and nodded.

“Quiet today, aren’t you, lad?” Northri laughed. He gripped Kili’s shoulder in what seemed to others was a friendly gesture but felt menacing to Kili, who had felt pain many times under his hands.

“Just a little tired,” Kili said with a smile. Northri’s heavy hand made him feel dirty, but he knew better than to let it show.

“Perhaps you are about to be sick. It’s not a good idea to spend so much time in open meadow with no protection.”

Kili’s heart skipped a beat. Had Northri seen Thorin and Kili after all? Had Kili missed something in the throes of passion? Kili felt truly sick, imagining Ered Luin knowing him not only as a dwarf who’d spread his legs for strangers at his father’s command, but also as someone who fell into bed with his own kin for some coins. They wouldn’t care about his family’s desperate situation which necessitated this action. They would only see a whore who’d forego all social conventions for monetary gain. Kili would like to think that even if Northri knew, he had nothing to gain by telling others, but he couldn’t be sure. As he knew all too well, Northri wasn’t kind.

“It was quite windy in the meadow,” Thorin spoke up, frowning at Kili. He didn’t seem to realize the implication of Northri’s words.

In other situation, the attention would warm Kili, but in front of Northri, he was only chilled by fear and deeply ashamed. “I’m all right!” he insisted. If Northri suspected—or worse, knew—something, it wouldn’t do to act even more strangely than usual.

Thorin wasn’t convinced by this. He pursed his lips. “Perhaps we should go home soon.”

Northri conceded with a nod, removing his paw from Kili. “I should like to talk to you again. I’ve been thinking of expanding my business,” he said, puffing his chest proudly.

“Is it so?” Thorin asked indifferently.

“Yes! Ered Luin offers very little—I’m sure you’ve noticed. I think it’s time to bring my business outside of this town!”

“That seems the wise thing to do.”

Northri beamed at Thorin’s agreement. “I would like to know more about Erebor, and who knows? Perhaps we could be partners! I have a feeling we have many things in common.”

Again, Northri didn’t show anything but his usual cockiness. He didn’t even look at Kili when he spoke. But, his chosen words rattled Kili to the bone. Could it be a coincidence? It must be a coincidence. Please let it be a coincidence. Kili forced himself to show little reaction even though doubt and fear battered him in turn. He must not draw suspicion. He had to protect his family.

“Perhaps,” Thorin said dismissively, his attention focused on Kili, not seeing how Northri’s eyes glinted in anger. “Not now, however. I need to bring my nephew home.”

“Of course,” Northri said, stepping aside to let them pass. “Get well, Kili.”

Kili nodded and said his goodbye. He had to force himself to slowly follow Thorin home. He couldn’t stop wondering about what Northri had seen or suspected. His mind wouldn’t stop conjuring up the worst possibilities. Pity had made people employ Kili once in a while but no pity would be shared to a dwarf who slept with his own uncle for money. Worse still, Fili, too, might be affected by his indiscretion and Dis would be shamed for things which had for years been beyond her control. Kili’s breath hitched and his body grew cold as he thought of the possible consequences of that moment of lust. The peace he had felt earlier that day had completely gone away, leaving only fear and shame.

* * *

Kili tried to behave normally, but he knew that his family must have noticed his unusual attitude. Since he returned from the walk with Thorin, Kili had withdrawn from others, terrified of the possibility of the news about him and Thorin spreading. When Fili returned home from work, Kili was almost paralyzed by fear that the sighting had reached Ered Luin. Fili mentioned nothing and didn’t behave out of the ordinary but that offered a small reprieve only. Kili couldn’t help but becoming tense throughout the night, waiting for someone to report others treating them oddly. Dis served his favorite dishes, but he had little appetite and only ate to avoid suspicion. He felt sick with nervousness and only managed to sit with his family after dinner for a while before going to his room, claiming sleepiness after a fulfilling meal, although the weight in his stomach only made him feel ill.

Sleep evaded him when he tried to rest, so Kili started to whittle, needing to channel his restlessness somewhere. There was no particular shape to the piece of wood he used, but it gave him something other than his fears to focus on. He paused briefly when he heard his family going to their respective beds. Usually around this time, he would start preparing himself to go to Thorin’s room, but with the memory of their public tryst earlier and how it was possible that they had been seen, he couldn’t quite bring himself to go. He didn’t want to risk losing Thorin’s favor but he couldn’t entertain him tonight. Kili could only lie so much and Thorin had known him well enough to see through his acts. He couldn’t pretend to enjoy himself when his mind was filled with the possible repercussion of their indiscretion and when Thorin realized this, he would definitely demand answers that Kili was reluctant to give. No one liked being denied their desires, even for good reasons. That could potentially dismay Thorin more than one night spent alone. So, Kili stayed in his room as the time he usually came to visit Thorin came and went away.

As the night went on its quiet course, Kili’s hands began to ache from whittling. However, his mind was only slightly soothed. Restlessness remained in his body and mind, coiling him tight and demanding to be released in some way before it snapped. He sighed. With so little rest and so much stress, he wouldn’t be able to behave as normal, drawing questions he didn’t want to answer. A new day renewed the possibility of his fear realized, too. Who knew what people talked about tonight in taverns or whether Northri would spread the disgusting truth tomorrow. Kili tried to remind himself that there was a chance that Northri hadn’t seen anything, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to believe it. Grimly, he cleaned the pieces of wood from his whittling attempt, pushing them to a corner to be cleaned tomorrow. He started to start to choose a book to read but before he got into his bed, someone knocked at his door.

Kili’s first thought was that it was Fili. He must have sensed that something was wrong and it was only a matter of time before he sought Kili for explanation. However, the silence that followed the knock was uncharacteristic of Fili who would usually enter Kili’s room regardless of whether he was invited inside or not. The knocks soon came again, louder this time, but there was no indication of who was on the other side of the door, perhaps minding the time. Kili frowned. He didn’t want to see anyone right now, not even Fili, but respect toward his older relatives (even one who deserved none such as his father) forced him to open the door. He smiled as he opened the door, but when he saw that it was Thorin outside his room, the smile faltered

Of course it was Thorin. Night after night Kili had come to his room to pleasure him. His absence tonight surely drew questions, though questions were better than anger. Kili let Thorin in though his mind screamed rejection. He didn’t want to sleep with Thorin tonight, not when thoughts of what might come tomorrow still troubled him. But he couldn’t reject him. He had to please Thorin and if Thorin wanted him tonight then he should give himself. Kili closed his eyes, reminding himself that it wouldn’t be the first time he went to bed with someone when he wasn’t willing. He had done this many times—most of the times, in fact. He could pleasure Thorin even when he wished for reprieve.

Donning a fake smile, Kili started to undo Thorin’s robe. “Did you miss me?” he teased, avoiding Thorin’s eyes. The words tasted sour in his mouth.

Suddenly, Thorin seized his hands. Kili looked up in surprise, meeting Thorin’s sharp gaze. A frisson of fear ran through his body as he thought of Thorin’s strength and the fact that there was nowhere for him to run to. He had demonstrated today that he didn’t like being denied. He had been kind and gentle to Kili so far, but he was a only a dwarf and he had withheld the true force of his passion for weeks. It was only expected that at some point Thorin would give in to his desires. Kili wished it hadn’t been in the meadow, hadn’t been where Northri could have seen then, but there was no use in wishing. It was with great effort that Kili didn’t step back. Running never ended well. He had tried it once and only received bruises for his trouble. Knowing Thorin’s history and strength, he knew it could be worse. He mustn’t say no. He had to submit.

“Are you ill?” Thorin asked.

“Just tired,” Kili said with a small shrug.

Thorin narrowed his eyes as he assessed Kili. “Yet you’re not yet asleep,” he pointed out. Then, much to Kili’s relief, he released Kili’s hands. “You have been quiet since we came back from our walk today.”

“It was quite a walk,” Kili said, smiling mischievously, trying to divert Thorin’s attention by subtly reminding him of what had transpired in the field, though it made his stomach twist in apprehension.

“But not that tiring,” Thorin pointed out, unfazed by Kili’s attempt at seduction. “Don’t lie to me, Kili.”

“I’m not-“

“Kili,” Thorin interrupted sharply in warning, silencing Kili with fear. For a moment he seemed to be going to use force make his point, but then he took a deep breath and spoke again, his voice calmer this time, “tell me the truth.”

Kili should keep lying, but the combination of fear and exhaustion defeated him. He had known Thorin well enough to know that he wouldn’t let this slide and stubborn though Kili was, Thorin was even more bull-headed. Any delay in speaking the truth might anger him further besides. Kili lowered his eyes as he admitted to Thorin what had been bothering him. “I think Mr. Northri may have seen us.”

Thorin looked at him in incomprehension. “That dwarf we met today?” He frowned when Kili nodded ruefully. “I thought people already knew,” he said tentatively.

Kili swallowed the bitter pill of the shameful truth. “Most people know what I do, but this…” Kili hesitated, not wanting to offend Thorin. “This is different,” he finally said. It’s worse and more disgusting, he didn’t say out loud.

When Thorin didn’t say anything, Kili walked away from him. He sat on the edge of his bed, looking at the floor. A part of him wanted to blame Thorin. But, he supposed Thorin had only taken what was offered to him: the rights over Kili’s body that had been given to him when he arrived weeks ago. The awful truth was that Kili had no power over this. He couldn’t have refused Thorin and he couldn’t have known whether they had been found when he was so distracted. This was completely out of his control. If anything, perhaps he should be surprised that it hadn’t happened before, that no one had asked him to service them in the open. He had been spared the shame for so long. It was merely terrible luck that it happened now with Thorin.

Thorin sat down next to him. “I don’t think he indicated having noticed anything. But what might happen if it were true?”

Kili shut his eyes tightly. “We only manage to survive because of people’s pity. If people think we’ve sunk too low, they may not want to associate with us at all. No more work for me. Fili and Mother may be affected as well. You must know by now that we barely have enough to survive. If we don’t work, it will be the end of us,” he said miserably.

Thorin was quiet for a moment. Kili didn’t dare look at him to see his reaction. “I shouldn’t have done that to you this morning,” Thorin finally said, sounding astounded by the possible ramification of his insistence and regretful of it. “I thought it was only our usual banter. I though you just… There is no excuse. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You only did what you wanted to do,” Kili said quietly.

“You said no. I should’ve stopped,” Thorin argued grimly.

Kili smiled warily. “I shouldn’t have said no in the first place. Whores don’t say no.”

At these words, Thorin gripped Kili’s shoulder, forcing him to look at him. His grip was uncomfortably tight, but Kili didn’t wince, numbed by bleak possibilities. “You are not a whore!” Thorin said insistently.

Kili scoffed before he could stop himself. “I sleep with people for favors and gold. What else am I?” he asked. It was the first time he told Thorin out loud what he did for his family and shame quickly rushed into him. He knew it was the truth, he was only a lowly whore, and he knew Thorin knew this, too. But to say it in such a plain term, to acknowledge it loudly made it seem much worse. “I am a whore. I have no say in what people want to do to me,” he said bitterly.

Thorin pursed his lips angrily. “Everyone has a right to say what they consent and do not consent to and others must listen. I should’ve listened more carefully and realized the situation.” Before Kili could argue, he went on, “if people refuse to give you work anymore, I will take responsibility. Name your loss and I will repay it. I'll provide your family’s living expenses if necessary.”

Vilir would have seized the opportunity and agreed. And indeed perhaps it was the smartest thing to do when one as wealthy as Thorin offered such aids for those as unfortunate as Kili’s family. However, to Kili this was an unfair bargain. While he had been ordered to please Thorin so that he would be more amenable when Vilir asked for monetary assistance, they hadn’t planned to ask that much. Kili’s body wasn’t worth a lifetime of assistance. “You don’t have to!” Kili exclaimed, eyes widening.

“I have to, if it’s because of my doing,” Thorin insisted. His voice and his gaze suggested that his mind was unchangeable. “I hope your worry is unfounded, but if it’s true, know that you are not without friend,” he assured Kili. He waited for an agreement from Kili and though he didn’t seem fully satisfied with the tentative nod Kili gave, he didn’t pursue the topic. “It’s late. You should go to bed.”

Kili nodded slowly. Thorin stayed beside him for a moment before standing up. He wore a deep frown on his face and seemed to be determined to not look at Kili. This unsettled Kili greatly. A sinking feeling built up in his stomach when Thorin headed toward the door, clearly intending to leave Kili alone. He couldn’t let Thorin go unsatisfied and with such a terrible expression on his face, especially after his kind offer. Kili grabbed Thorin’s arm to stop him. “Would you stay with me tonight?”

Thorin gave him a peculiar look that wasn’t entirely disapproving. “Are you sure?” he asked carefully.

“Yes,” Kili replied, voice steady as sure as he tugged Thorin to bed. He climbed onto the thin mattress and settled down when Thorin followed suit. Kili still didn’t want to sleep with Thorin tonight, but he knew that Thorin’s promise to help his family came with a price. It was a great vow, greater than what Vilir had wanted, and Kili had to make sure what Thorin received something equal in return. He didn’t dream his used body could be a fair payment, but he was determined to give what he had. Resting his head on Thorin’s broad shoulder, Kili teased the muscular chest revealed by the gap of Thorin’s shirt. His fingers caressed short dark hair there and the scar tissue over his heart and then drifted lower, making the muscles of Thorin’s abdomen jumped. Although he couldn’t see or feel it, he was sure Thorin’s arousal had started to simmer. So Kili continued his teasing, combing through dark hair lightly until he sense miniscule change in Thorin’s breathing. Then, sighing softly in resignation, he lowered his hand. He had just held the tie of Thorin’s breeches when Thorin grabbed his wrist. Kili looked at him, surprised.

Thorin shook his head. “No.”

Kili blinked. “Tired?” he teased with a grin, not removing his hand.

Again, Thorin shook his head. “Not tonight.”

Kili studied Thorin for a while and then relented. “If you say so,” he said, disappointed but relieved at the same time, putting his hand on Thorin’s abdomen, instead. He smiled slightly when he received a grunt in reply. He sighed softly, glad that he could forego sex tonight. Tomorrow for sure he would do anything Thorin asked, anything to make him happy and think that he hadn’t wasted his promise on nothing. Kili’s mood soured when he thought of what might happen tomorrow but he consoled himself with the fact that Thorin would help them if it came to that. It was that small hope that finally lulled Kili. He fell asleep listening to the steady thrum of Thorin’s heart.

* * *

When the next day came, Kili was anxious. He almost stopped Fili and his mother from leaving the house, fearing what might happen to them in the town. Only Thorin’s grip on his hand under the dining table stopped him. Kili wanted to argue—it wasn’t fair to subject them to risk of cruelty while he hid in the safety of his house—but Thorin shook his head minutely and refused to let his hand go until Fili and Dis left. Kili would’ve gone mad with guilt and worry if not for Thorin who challenged him to a spar. Claiming that he was tired of the poor sight of Ered Luin, he demanded Kili to cure his boredom. He all but dragged Kili to the backyard and shoved a sword to his hand. This was not what Kili had planned to entertain Thorin, but he couldn’t refuse it, so he reluctantly accepted the challenge.

As usual, Thorin didn’t hold back, forcing Kili to concentrate on defending himself. If Kili so much as lost his focus for one second, Thorin would take advantage of it and charge. Over and over, Kili found himself on the ground with Thorin’s sword on his neck and chest because of this. And as if the numerous defeats weren’t painful enough, Thorin always smirked down at him in mockery. His pride bruised, Kili finally started to take offensive stance. His attacks were easily blocked by Thorin but at least he didn’t lose easily anymore. If not for Thorin’s urging, he would skip lunch, determined to finally land the blow that defeated Thorin. He ate quickly, then bodily pulled Thorin back to the backyard to continue their spar. Thorin only shook his head but obliged, although not before taking a quick rest to let their meal settled on their stomachs. After that, once again he defeated Kili.

Busy as he was, he barely realized time had gone by. When Fili returned home, Kili was filled with annoyance of losing many rounds of sword fights. He barely remembered his worry earlier in the day until Fili cheerfully teased him about having fun while he was working. Fear slipped back into Kili’s mind but Fili’s happy attitude suggested that nothing had happened, that the news of Kili’s public tryst with Thorin hadn’t reached him. He breathed a sigh in relief, though he was still far from fully at peace. Later that night, he was anxiously pacing in his room when Thorin came, this time fully-clothed. As the previous night, he rejected Kili’s offer to pleasure him. He was unusually chatty, teasing Kili about his loss over and over again until Kili scowled and listed every error Thorin had made earlier in the day. They bantered until they were too sleepy to think of any comeback for the other and settled to rest next to each other. Kili felt he should make an attempt at seduction, but Thorin had fallen asleep and he couldn’t deny himself the calmness offered by Thorin’s steady heartbeats. So, he slept next to Thorin throughout the night, putting his worries away until the next day.

The next couple of days followed the same pattern. Thorin kept challenging Kili to sword fights and when it became apparent that no matter how much Kili improved, he wouldn’t be as strong as Thorin, not when poverty had stolen away his opportunity to practice and his strength. So, Kili challenged him in archery. Here, at last Kili managed to defeat him. Though his skill was rusty to start, it didn’t take him a long time to relearn the techniques. Arrows flew from his bow, hitting the targets with precision. He grinned victoriously when Thorin missed his marks and growled in frustration. Kili laughed harder when Thorin glared at him. Feeling kind (and quite smug), he offered to teach some of his techniques. Thorin accepted although he obeyed Kili’s directions with a frown. Any worry Kili might have of angering him was quickly dashed by the way Thorin gently gripped his shoulder or his nape when he was giving demonstration. Thorin might look sour, but there was warmth in his eyes and his touch. Kili wasn’t scared of him. He knew Thorin wouldn’t harm him.

Busy sparring and practicing archery, Kili barely noticed the passing days. Before he knew it, a week had gone and still no change had occurred. Fili and Vilir returned home again with only smiles on their faces. Nothing happened. No news about his public tryst with Thorin was heard. It seemed that Kili and Thorin hadn’t been seen after all. At last, Kili released a sigh of relief. There wouldn’t be any trouble for his family. They would be all right—or at least as all right as they could be. They wouldn’t be hated or shunned by the society which already wished to forget their poor existence.

Opening his eyes, Kili looked at Thorin across the dining table. He was listening to Vilir’s story about a friend (Kili tried not to think of what kind of friend it was), nodding at regular interval. Thorin’s demands for spars and archery contests weren’t without reason, Kili realized now. It wasn’t boredom that motivated his demands. He was trying to distract Kili from his troubles and kept him save from the outside world in case his worry wasn’t unfounded. His chosen method could injure Kili and it might have been easier had he simply told Kili his intention, but Kili could scarcely blamed him or felt any dismay toward him. It fit perfectly with the stoic impression he usually gave, which didn’t at all reflect how carefully he treated Kili behind closed doors. Kili had come to like him quite much after spending so much time with him, but at this realization his fondness grew even more. Kili ducked his head to hide a smile spreading on his face as he formulated a way to show his gratitude.

* * *

Thorin was hesitant when Kili proposed a hunting session. He frowned and argued, saying that he didn’t have proper hunting equipment with him and that even if he did, he wasn’t very fond of hunting. Kili insisted, however, and gave him Fili’s unused bow. He claimed that he wanted to show Thorin his hunting skill and, when Thorin still refused, disappointedly mentioned that he hadn’t gone hunting for a very long time and he really missed it. Kili hid his victorious grin when Thorin finally agreed with a huff. The childish manipulation made him feel a little guilty, but he was determined to take Thorin away from the dull confines of his house.

Although he hadn’t visited the forest for a long time, Kili still remembered it quite well. He took paths rarely travelled and deviated from them after a while, confident that he knew where he was going. Thorin followed right behind him, his footsteps a little too loud, but Kili could tell he tried his best to be quiet. Kili smiled as he led the way, glad to find yet another thing he could do better than Thorin. He would gloat about this later but right now he focused on recalling a location he knew from a long time ago. There was a small clearing not very far from the edge of the forest. It offered a nice view of a river but was still hidden from view by bushes and trees. Kili had often gone there in the past, the peace offering temporary escape from his problems. Today he sought the peace for an entirely different reason.

“There it is!” Kili exclaimed happily when he found the clearing. It was as he remembered, a small spot protected by the nature. The sound of running river could be heard, giving a sense of peace. Above them, leaves rustled with the wind, causing the sunlight cast upon the ground to dance. Kili investigated the place and was pleased to see no sign of other people having used it. It was still his hiding place. Still something that he could call his own when everything had been taken away.

Behind Kili, Thorin looked around them, frowning. “I thought we’re here for hunting.”

Kili smiled. He dropped his bow and quiver to the ground and waited for Thorin to do the same before replying. “We’ll hunt in a moment. There’s something else I want to do.”

At this, Thorin looked at him questioningly, but Kili didn’t bother to answer. He approached Thorin and studied the lines and curves of his face, the coarseness of his beard, the light in his steely eyes and the confused line of his lips. He was an intimidating dwarf, but the more Kili knew him, the more he believed that he could never be as safe as when he was with Thorin. Kili gave him a smile and dropped down to his knees before him. Above him, Thorin gasped in surprise, but he ignored it. Putting his hands on Thorin’s hips, Kili pressed little kisses on the crotch of Thorin’s breeches, his warm breath teasing the flesh beneath. Even through the fabric, the musky scent was intoxicating. He recalled fondly nights he spent there, slowly sucking Thorin’s cock until he couldn’t wait to be inside him. Kili’s cock began to stir in interest and he put a wet open-mouthed kiss on the bulge that began to stiffen inside the breeches. Feeling wicked and daring, he closed his mouth over the blunt head, earning instinctive bucking of narrow hips that only served to make him lap at the fabric hungrily.

“Kili,” Thorin called out, his voice unsteady. He put his hand on Kili’s shoulder, trying to push him away, but Kili could feel the tremor of lust in his body. “Someone might see us.”

Kili pulled away, looking up to Thorin. The troubled look on Thorin’s face indicated that he remembered all too well what had made Kili upset for days. He noticed now how careful Thorin had been to not pressure Kili into physical intimacy. The thought that he cared so much about what Kili wanted warmed Kili, but he had taken Thorin here precisely because of illusion that someone might see, something that Thorin seemed to like. “No one goes here,” he said. Then, he wetly kissed the steadily growing bulge in front of him. “I’ve missed this,” he said honestly.

Hearing this, Thorin moaned loudly. His hips began to strain, pushing toward the promise of heaven in Kili’s mouth. “Are you sure?” he asked, his hand clenching on Kili’s shoulder.

To reply, Kili undid Thorin’s breeches briskly. He pushed the piece of clothing down to wrap the middle of his thighs, not wanting to waste time with taking it off completely. Kili licked his lips when he saw the half-hard length in front of him. In his own breeches, his own desire came to life. Closing his eyes, he closed his mouth over the crown of Thorin’s cock. The tip of his tongue flickered on the tiny slit, gently teasing around it and prodding against it, drawing breathy groans from Thorin. When Kili pulled away, Thorin made a sound of protest, but Kili didn’t disappoint him for too long. He held the silky length and licked it broadly, covering it with saliva. Once in a while, he paused to nosily kiss prominent veins and traced them with his tongue, loving the choked sounds Thorin gave when he did that.

It was tempting to take the hard length into his mouth, to feel the familiar weight on his tongue and surround himself with Thorin’s scent. But, today Kili intended to drive him crazy, not to easily satisfy him, and the way Thorin now gently petted his hair showed that he wasn’t yet at that point. So, Kili shifted on his knees as he gently pushed Thorin’s cock up. Fingers dug lightly onto his scalp when he pulled Thorin’s heavy ball into his mouth. He sucked one gently, caressing it with his tongue until Thorin made a desperate sound, then switched to the other to give it the same treatment. With his free hand, he pushed Thorin’s thigh to make him spread his legs wider. His nose pressed against the base of Thorin’s twitching cock as he continued to tease the tight stones while his thumb found Thorin’s weeping slit to spread the copious amount of wetness around the flared tip. Kili hummed, closing his eyes contently as he brought Thorin to the brink of madness.

“Kili!” Thorin cried out, his voice trembling.

Kili pulled away slowly, reluctant to stop but wanting to see the effect he had on Thorin. He grinned when he saw the redness of the cock in his hand and the early seed dripping from the tip heavily. He craved a taste but he held back. Instead, he enjoyed the sight of Thorin’s flushed face, the lust darkening his eyes, and the way he breathed heavily as he tried to regain control. Unwilling to let his work go to waste, he leaned in to nuzzle the thick erection and lightly kiss it, teasing but never giving reprieve. He grinned when Thorin looked at him with a mixture of annoyance and lust.

“Do you want my mouth or my ass?” Kili asked mischievously.

Thorin blinked, perhaps surprised by the coarse language. “Both,” he replied.

Kili laughed. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

Then, without preamble, Kili took Thorin into his mouth. It wasn’t the first time he did this, but it was still quite a struggle to accommodate the thickness, his jaw aching by the stretch. Still, the effort only heightened his own desire. His cock throbbed in its confines, demanding attention, but he focused on Thorin for the moment. Kili slid his mouth up and down the cock, sucking it lightly, while his hand pumped what he couldn’t take. He closed his eyes, surrendering himself to Thorin’s mercy, when Thorin gripped his hair. He let Thorin fucked his mouth at a slow but insistent pace. He took a deep breath whenever Thorin pulled out and sucked whenever Thorin pushed back in. The squelching noise, the moans above him, the taste of Thorin’s seed, and the stretch of his jaw inexplicably fanned his desire even more. Stealthily, Kili rubbed his own cock over his breeches. Though the touch wasn’t satisfying, he still rutted against his own hand and soon the fabric became damp. Kili moaned around the thick flesh in his mouth, making Thorin gasp sharply.

“Enough!” he choked out, hurriedly but carefully pushing Kili away from him.

Perhaps Kili should gloat, but Thorin wasn’t the only one growing desperate for release. Kili stood up and quickly took off his clothes without any shred of doubt, confident that this location wouldn’t be found. Thorin, on the other hand, seemed hesitant, only taking his heavy coat off but nothing more. Kili raised an eyebrow at the sudden timidity but didn’t comment on it. He took a vial of oil from a pocket and showed it to Thorin.

“Should I prepare myself or do you want to do it?” he asked, trying to contain his eagerness.

Thorin’s eyes glazed with desire and his skin flushed all the more as he took in Kili’s naked state. “Lay down,” he ordered, his deep voice sending shivers down Kili’s spine.

Deciding that the grass on the forest floor would provide acceptable substitute for sheets, Kili lay down immediately. He spread his legs and bent his knees, feet planted firmly on the ground, presenting himself to Thorin. He was acutely aware of his hard erection between his legs but resolved not to touch it before he was ordered or Thorin deemed it time to touch him. After all, the day was about Thorin. The anticipation heightened his desire. He had no question that at some point either Thorin would touch him or he would be told to touch himself. Thorin wasn’t so cruel as to torture him with unspent desire, or anything, in fact. Thorin wouldn’t cause him distress or pain. Kili was sure of that.

Thorin knelt between Kili’s legs. He started with caressing his inner thighs and dropping kisses down his thigh to the juncture leading toward Kili’s hard cock. As usual, he was very careful, even after the teasing Kili had subjected him to. Biting his lip, Kili forced himself to breathe steadily. The soft kisses were almost reverent, teasing Kili with maddening softness. When Thorin’s breath caressed his aching length, Kili writhed in anticipation. At first, he thought Thorin would take him into his skillful mouth but Thorin pulled away, instead. It wasn’t for nothing, though, as he pried the vial of oil away from Kili’s hand. Quickly, he covered his fingers with the thick substance before returning his attention to Kili. His finger lightly touched Kili’s furled entrance, moving in an endless circle until Kili squirmed in impatience, and then he pushed the digit in slowly, making Kili feel every millimeter of it as he was breached.

Kili gripped blades of grass tightly at the first stretch. He arched his back as the simple sensation of a finger sliding inside him washed over him continuously, burning his desire hotter and hotter. His cock throbbed and twitched between his legs and he briefly thought of how embarrassing it was to come with just half of a finger inside him. Thorin wouldn’t be angry at him, but he wanted to come later when Thorin was buried inside him, when he felt again that familiar stretch that he had gone days without. His thought was interrupted when suddenly Thorin stopped. Kili frowned at him when the digit withdrew but his objection disappeared when the stretch returned, with more certainty. This time, there was no stop, the finger breached Kili slowly but surely until he could feel knuckles pressing against him. Kili moaned as the digit began to move shallowly, twisting and curling and caressing the deepest part of him. Shamelessly, he rode Thorin’s hand, meeting every push and clenching down greedily as he had lazily rode his cock times and times again before. Recognizing this, Thorin squeezed his thigh gently and pulled his finger out only to return it again shortly with another one.

Kili writhed on soft grass as his pleasure was prolonged. His instinct told him to impale himself on Thorin’s fingers, but he reined it, wanting only to be good for Thorin, to do what he wanted only, to make him happy. Kili tossed his head from one side to another, whimpering as the fingers inside him spread carefully and stroke his clenching wall of muscles. He slowly rocked his hips and moaned loudly when he caught Thorin’s heated gaze. When the fingers withdrew only to return with a third one, Kili bit his lip. Again, the digits wreaked havoc on his body, stretching him with unbearable slowness. When Thorin grazed against his prostate, Kili threw his head back, groaning as red hot pleasure shot up his nerves. His thighs shook as he both rocked his hips to try to make him do it again and tried to keep himself as still as possible. Please, he nearly said. He close his eyes and turned his face away to keep quiet, letting Thorin do as he pleased for as long as he wanted. He bore what felt like hours of torture by those cruel fingers, whining softly. When they withdrew completely for the last time, Kili panted harshly. His cock was very hard and throbbing, minutes away from release, and Thorin wasn’t even inside him yet. He forced himself to calm down, not wanting to lose control now that he was so close to what he had waited for. Between his legs, Thorin poured oil to his hand and covered his cock with the substance.

When Thorin leaned down, one hand by Kili’s head to brace himself, Kili lazily blinked and took in the sight above him. Thorin’s face and his loud breathing showed the effort it took to control himself. The flared tip of his cock was rubbing against Kili’s prepared hole but didn’t push in. Kili smiled, tilted his hips, and threw his head back to bare his neck, submitting himself completely to Thorin. A soft groan came from above him and then the impressive girth pushed into him. The burn was familiar and exciting. Kili closed his eyes in bliss as he was slowly filled, as he was slowly made complete. When Thorin’s hips were pressed against his flank, he opened his eyes and smiled to Thorin. He was looking at Kili with such a strange look, as if he couldn’t believe that Kili let him do this to him although they had done this many times before. Chuckling breathlessly, Kili pushed Thorin’s hair behind his ear. He ran his hand over Thorin’s clothed heaving chest and firm abdomen and then lower still past his bare pelvis to the point where they were joined. Thorin let out a surprised moan when Kili traced his stretched entrance and the base of the cock encased within himself. Grinning mischievously, Kili pulled his hand away and held onto Thorin’s strong arm and waited.

Thorin pulled out with the same slowness as when he entered Kili. The drag was wonderfully intense and it was nearly too much when he pushed back inside slowly. Kili sighed and moaned as Thorin slowly rocked into him. The noises were muffled when Thorin bent down to capture his mouth in a languid kiss, stirring the heat of passion shared between them. Their bodies moved together in a steady rhythm they had come to memorize from nights spent in each other’s arms. This was how Thorin usually did it, with care and gentleness, and usually Kili didn’t protest, loving the contrast between the burn of being stretched by Thorin’s thick girth and the simmering bliss produced by the gentleness of his touches and kisses. But, today he wanted to thank Thorin. Today he wanted Thorin to do what he clearly wanted to do. Today he wanted Thorin to not hold back.

“You can do it as hard as you like,” he breathed after the kiss broke, caressing Thorin’s strong arm.

Thorin paused abruptly. He looked at Kili in something akin to alarm. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Kili insisted. “I’m not breakable. I want to feel you lose yourself in me.”

Thorin moaned at those words. Involuntarily, he ground his hips deep inside Kili, making him moan, too. “What if I hurt you?” he asked, swallowing thickly.

Kili shook his head. “You’ll never hurt me.”

Thorin gave him a look which was half desire and half exasperation and then sat up to sit on his heels. He pulled Kili so that he was sprawled on his lap and looked at him with slightly dubious look. It took more coaxing before he seemed to come to a decision. Then, he took a deep breath and gripped Kili’s hips tightly with both hands.

Nothing quite prepared Kili for the force of Thorin’s thrusts. He cried out as he was rammed into him, Thorin’s hips smacking loudly against the meat of his bottom. His internal muscles trembled in shock and uselessly tried to clutch onto the girth spreading it but Thorin barely paused to savor it. Harder and harder he pounded Kili, spreading a wildfire of lust across his body. He didn’t have to and couldn’t push back to Thorin’s thrust as he greedily pulled Kili with every breathtaking reentry into his body. Kili scrambled for purchase but found nothing but grass. He clutched it tightly as he gasped for breath, air being pushed out of his lungs with every hard thrust. Between his legs, Thorin looked almost feral, his eyes wild with desire as he growled and groaned harshly. Kili had always know his true power was immense, but he hadn’t expected this. He had been used roughly before, but no one had ever taken him this way: with claiming force that pried his tight muscles open for his impressive girth and unerring accuracy to continuously press that place inside Kili that made his erection weep. Kili threw his head back, moaning as he was taken and claimed as never before.

“Touch yourself,” Thorin ordered harshly.

With some difficulty, Kili wrapped his hand around his aching cock. He didn’t bother with teasing. Kili pumped his straining cock quickly while Thorin pounded into him. The grip on his hips tightened as Thorin watched him pleasure himself and it seemed that the sight drove him wilder. Kili vainly tried to spread his legs wider as Thorin took him with quick deep thrusts that reached his core, leaving him raw and wanting inside. It was almost painful how good it felt to be taken with such force. Kili whined as each movement dragged the length on his sensitive prostate, pushing him closer and closer to the edge. It was a hard shove into his trembling muscles accompanied by a desperate moan of his name that undid him, however. With a sharp gasp, Kili came, spurting thickly up to his chest. His hand slowed down but Thorin didn’t and he was left gasping and whimpering as his increasingly sensitive body was used almost violently. Thorin had waited so long—too long—to fully release his passion and now that he had Kili’s permission, he couldn’t stop himself from taking everything Kili had offered from the start.

Pleasure peaked and sharpened inside Kili and slowly inched toward pain. He whimpered, too weak to make Thorin stop and unwilling to let Thorin go just yet. Tiredly, he tried to clench his sore muscles, heightening Thorin’s pleasure so that he moaned and looked at Thorin helplessly. His hips jerked forward harder, heavy balls Kili had worshipped earlier slapping against his cheeks. The noise between them was positively filthy but neither of them could muster shame. Just before Kili felt he couldn’t take any more of this sharp pleasure, Thorin drove hard into him one last time and came heavily inside him with a long groan. Fingers dug deeply into Kili’s hips, creating dark bruises, as Thorin rocked his hips slowly into Kili’s clenching muscles, spilling his seed to fill the aching gape inside Kili. Tiredly, Kili dropped his hand to his stomach and turned his head to the side to pant for breath. Soreness began to grow in his lower body and he knew he would have difficulty going home but there was no ill feeling which usually came with being taken this thoroughly, the feeling that he was just a hole to use to sate dirty dwarfs

“Kili?” Thorin panted out, sounding worried and yet more sated than Kili had ever seen.

Now that his hidden passion was released and abated, he was once more the kind dwarf Kili knew him to be. A deep, all-encompassing affection built up inside Kili’s chest, knowing that despite his harsh treatment just now Thorin cared for him greatly. Kili tried to answer, but he had no breath for speech yet. So, he turned to Thorin to smile dreamily to show his satisfaction. And he did feel satisfied and content, not only because of his recent release but also because he had made Thorin happy. It had been a repulsive purpose in the beginning, but now this was something to cherish, something to be glad about and even be proud about. No longer was Thorin someone he had to please merely for financial reward. He now wanted to please Thorin because of the attention and compassion he had shown him, though they’re sometimes disguised as indifference or selfishness. Kili had brought Thorin here to show his gratitude, but in a way he also did it for himself. He should feel guilty for his selfishness, but now, with Thorin so close protecting and caring for him, he could feel nothing but contentment.

Something strange fleeted across Thorin’s eyes. He stopped moving although he didn’t withdraw from Kili yet. “Oh, you are exquisite,” he breathed wondrously.

Before Kili could respond, Thorin leaned down to kiss him thoroughly, caressing every bit of his mouth to gently further lay claim on him. Exhausted, Kili let him do as he wished, parting his lips and wrapping weak arms around Thorin’s shoulders. Through half-lidded eyes, he watched leaves swayed above them. Sunlight warmed their heated bodies and the sound of the river calmed their pounding hearts. Somewhere in the forest, a bird sang. Here, surrounded by nature and Thorin, the terrible event of the week was easily forgotten. Kili had never felt more in peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Visit me on [tumblr](http://demonessryu.tumblr.com/tagged/thorinkili) to say hi or check out things I make for this ship.


	5. One Last Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep apologizing whenever I update this but, well. I swear I tried to continue writing this once I finished The King's Bride, and after spending about half an hour looking for the file because I couldn't remember what I named it (I named it Harlot. Yeah, I know) but Big Thing happened irl and I have to deal with it. I'm still not quite done with it yet, so unfortunately please expect scarce(r) post/update for a while more.
> 
> As usual for this fic, warning for graphic non-con. Also, as usual I can't make myself write that particular derogatory term, so please substitute it yourself as necessary. There's one instance of it at the end.

“Does he treat you well?” Fili asked one evening after dinner, when Kili impatiently waited for the house to sleep so he could go to Thorin’s room. Fili looked disturbed, angry and helpless at the situation, and Kili felt bad for him because his concerns were unwarranted.

“He’s nice,” Kili replied with a shrug as he looked away, thinking of how carefully Thorin touched him with his strong hands, how he kissed him over and over until Kili pushed at him to stop, and how he made Kili’s legs trembled so after sweet release. He cleared his throat and hoped that the flush on his skin wasn’t too obvious, knowing Fili didn’t like to thinking about what he did behind closed doors. “He doesn’t hurt me.” Well, he made Kili sore sometimes, but in a good way.

“He’d better not!” Fili snapped.

Kili scoffed, amused. Fili had always been protective of him and he appreciated it most of the time. But, this was Thorin, not one of those terrible dwarfs their father met in questionable places. After spending so many weeks living under the same roof, Fili should know how kind Thorin actually was. “He’s better than that. He’s better than the others.”

For a long time, Fili didn’t say anything. Kili busied himself whittling though he wanted to prepare himself for Thorin. A vial of oil sat at his bedside table, waiting to be used to stretch himself. Beside it were a comb and some hair oil that he had begun to use of late. His hair would be a mess again at the end of the night, but Thorin seemed to like it when Kili put efforts into his looks rather than just prepare himself for sex. It was yet another one of Thorin’s oddities. Kili regretted not having nicer clothes as he was sure Thorin would appreciate seeing him in something other than his tattered old clothing. But, he supposed his robe was enough. It would come off soon after he went into Thorin’s room, after all.

Suddenly, Fili laughed sadly, drawing Kili’s attention. “I’d be a little more comforted if he weren’t our uncle.” Fili smile thinly and squeezed Kili’s shoulder. “I’m glad he won’t stay for much longer,” he said reassuringly.

Kili’s heart lurched in his chest. Distracted by kindness, he had forgotten that Thorin was only visiting. He had a life he left behind in Erebor, a life he would have to return to at some point. Kili’s heart sank when he thought of returning to the life of servicing greedy dwarfs. He remembered now that this peace, this safety and this happiness were only temporary. Thorin would be gone, taking away the hope he had lent Kili’s family, taking away the happiness he had shown Kili, leaving them to the destitution and desolation Kili had stupidly forgotten. Fili smiled warmly to him and asked him to be patience, mistakenly thinking that Kili couldn’t wait to see Thorin gone, unaware that Kili would do anything to keep him.

* * *

Kili tried to draw it out, savoring every minute he had with Thorin, making every moment linger until the end was but inevitable, but eventually everything came to an end. Kili hid his intensifying anguish behind smiles and used every trick he had to distract Thorin from realizing his discontent. It was a surprisingly difficult feat. They had grown very close during Thorin’s stay and now he knew how to read Kili almost as well as Kili knew how to read him. Thorin was still mostly a mystery, being more careful with his emotions and expressions than Kili ever was with his, but Kili could tell that he was starting to notice Kili’s heightening apprehension as his departure came closer. So, Kili pleasured him better, so that lust and desire clouded his sharp perception, so that he never could assume Kili’s growing reluctance to let him go.

Still, it was difficult to maintain the charade when the day before Thorin left, Vilir invited him for a trip alone. Kili immediately knew from his father’s anxiety that the trip wasn’t meant for entertainment. It was a negotiation for payment Thorin should make for what Kili had done for him. Dis locked herself in her room after they left, leaving Kili alone, washing sheets stained with the evidence of his efforts to save his family. He thought of the previous night, how gently Thorin had held and kissed him after they spent themselves completely, how bright Thorin’s blue eyes were in his dim room, how warm his embrace was when he slept with Kili in his arms. Kili swallowed thickly as his hands trembled and his eyes stung. He convinced himself he was only tired from doing the chores of two. He knew that was nothing close to the truth.

The sky was a beautiful shade of red when Vilir and Thorin returned. Vilir was grinning widely when he entered his house. Behind him, Thorin followed, looking somber. Kili didn’t dare to look at him and instead only looked at his father. He knew that expression, having seen it hundreds of times before. He knew it meant financial security gained by his body. He knew it meant Vilir had won the gold he wanted, his family had gained means of survival, and he would lose yet another piece of himself, this time to his own uncle, the kindest dwarf he had ever known and the dwarf whose gentleness he shouldn’t have come to know.

“Kili!” Vilir exclaimed happily when he saw him. He squeezed his shoulder tightly as he grinned at him widely. “Tell your mother to bring out our best wine. We’ll have a feast tonight!” Then, he added quietly, but not so quiet that Thorin wouldn’t hear him. “Show Thorin our gratitude later tonight, all right?”

Shame filled Kili. There was sickness at the pit of his stomach at the indiscretion, the loud admission that Kili was no more than a whore, a coin to pay his debts or win favors. Kili’s eyes met Thorin’s unreadable ones as Vilir left them. For the first time since they knew each other, Kili couldn’t stand to be in the same room as he. He turned around to flee, Thorin’s eyes a heavy weight upon his back. In the silence as he walked away with no way to defend his reduced honor, Kili had never felt dirtier.

* * *

One last night, Kili told himself. The last night.

He whined as Thorin grunted behind him. His muscular arms were tight around Kili, their legs tangled, his heaving chest pressed against Kili’s back, his mouth hot on Kili’s neck and shoulder. Kili clutched the dirty sheet beneath him as he was rocked back and forth, his hard cock rubbing firmly against the soiled sheet. It wasn’t their first coupling that night and each time Thorin seemed keen on drawing the moment out and making Kili felt almost too much, reducing him to whimpers and whines and pleas for release. Kili’s body was sore due to exhaustion but he still presented himself readily on his front or his back or any other way Thorin desired, almost begging Thorin to take him, to not give in to sleep and end this night early. But the time slowly slipped away from his grasp. Their bodies were wearying and the dawn was coming.

This time, Thorin took him slowly, from the second he had slid into Kili’s loose and dripping hole to this moment where he enveloped Kili completely. Having spent a couple of times before, they weren’t in a desperate rush, pounding away hungrily or holding each other greedily or kissing too-wetly. This time, Thorin merely ground and rolled his hips, drawing small moans and whimpers from Kili as his slick passage was pleasured thoroughly. After taking Thorin’s cock a couple of times that night, Kili was perfectly loosened, clutching the twitching hardness just tight enough and gently contracting around it to draw out the desired seed. A few times, Thorin lost his control, snapping his hips into Kili, making him cry out as his core was pressed so suddenly, but he always managed to slow down immediately, resuming his tortuous grinding.

“Kili,” Thorin whispered, lightly nipping his neck. “ _Kili_.”

Kili looked at him from the corners of his eyes. His chest tightened when he saw the pained frown on Thorin’s face, but he couldn’t find a word to say, not even Thorin’s name. He buried his face in his arm while he grasped Thorin’s hand trapped between his body and the bed. Thorin stilled the moment Kili tangled their fingers over his quivering middle. His cock was heavy and warm inside Kili’s contracting passage and the lack of motion made him ache, but Kili did nothing except closing his eyes, letting Thorin decide when to resume the pace. He didn’t protest when Thorin took his time, staying deep inside him without moving while his free hand stroked Kili’s side and he kissed Kili’s temple and cheek. It should be sickening – they were both covered in sweat and drying seeds and surrounded by soiled fabric and Thorin’s thick erection was throbbing inside Kili’s hole that was thoroughly coated by oil and his previous spendings – but instead it was tender and intimate. Kili almost sobbed when Thorin began undulating his hips again, hating the pleasure tightly coiled in his guts as his swollen cock steadily dripped early seed onto the sheet.

“Kili,” Thorin breathed again, shifting to spread Kili’s legs wider as if he was trying to get deeper into him.

It was a vain endeavor for they were pressed as close as they could be, buried deep inside each other as could anyone could be. Still, Thorin tried, surging into him in one graceful move that made Kili moan and arch his back as his prostate was stroked ceaselessly. His cock twitched and spurted a little pearly seed, a sign of his impending completion. Opening his eyes to look at Thorin, Kili pushed Thorin’s hand down from his middle to his throbbing cock, the first brush of fingers making him sigh. Thorin complied, pumping him slowly and thrusting shallowly into him languidly, without ever taking his eyes of him. Thorin’s knowing touch and the unerring angle of his thrusting cock unraveled Kili’s poor control.

Kili gripped Thorin’s arm tightly as he unhappily inched closer to the edge, his cock leaking quite heavily onto Thorin’s stroking hand. He began to push back against the slow careful movements of Thorin’s hips and then forward onto the pulls of his fist, reluctantly taking pleasure from the hardness inside him and the tight grip around him. He closed his eyes, whining quietly, as he desperately tried to not finish too quickly. Seeing this, Thorin leaned down to capture Kili’s lips in a slow and heated kiss, tongues exploring, tasting, and marking every warm inch they could reach. Thorin gradually moved faster, thrusting instead of merely grinding. His thick cock pulled out halfway until Kili clenched around him in longing, before sliding back inside fully. Over and over he did it until a familiar pleasurable rhythm was found again. They swallowed each other’s moans as these thrusts turned into short snaps of hips, Thorin’s pelvis meeting Kili’s bottom with fleshy smacks, Kili’s body clenching around his girth eagerly. Kili pushed back for more while their controls frayed further and further. In Thorin’s hand, his cock was dribbling heavily. The hot coil wounding in the pit of his stomach tightened and his stones rose as Thorin’s own stones slapped it with every reentry. Kili clutched Thorin’s arms tightly, moaning into his mouth as he stood over the edge.

It was this way – lips locked, limbs tangled, sweaty bodies pressed close together – that they came together, Thorin filling Kili again and Kili spilling over Thorin’s fingers. There wasn’t much left of him to give but still Thorin stroked him carefully until the last drop of seed had been spilt. Inside him, Thorin was much the same, his jerking cock didn’t spread much warmth and softened far too quickly. Kili choked back a sob as Thorin’s kiss slowed and deepened while he rocked languidly into him.

The kiss lasted long after they stopped moving, their bodies having completely spent their seeds. Neither seemed willing to end it but eventually Thorin broke it to breathe harshly and pulled out with a wet sound. Kili bit his lip when he was left empty, Thorin’s thick seed slipping out of his hole to make further mess of him. What he had always seen as disgusting and miserable reminder of what he was, was now painful for an entirely different reason. Beside him, Thorin lay on his back, panting, and then pulled Kili to join him. Kili went willingly, burying his face in Thorin’s chest to avoid looking at him. The fact that Thorin let him, merely stroking his hip quietly, only made Kili felt worse.

“Thank you,” Kili said, his voice cracking slightly. He cleared his throat, hoping Thorin didn’t take it as more than an effect of exhaustion. “For helping my family.” He recalled Vilir’s announcement earlier that Thorin had given them a vast amount of money they would be able to pay off his debts and then some. He had been the only one who celebrated it, the rest of them looking away in shame.

“Your family is my family, too,” Thorin said, squeezing Kili’s hip gently.

Kili smiled bitterly. Sold to his own uncle to pay his father’s gambling debt and not minding it one bit. Worse still, he didn’t want it to end. Oh, how low he had sunk to. “And thank you for being so kind to me.”

Sighing quietly, Thorin tucked Kili’s wild hair behind his ear and stroked Kili’s cheek with his thumb. “I gave you some grief, though, didn’t I?”

If he had the energy, Kili would laugh. But he was tired and Thorin’s kindness wasn’t helping him gathering fake joy. He shook his head. “It’s as good as forgotten. Nothing happened, after all.” The silence that greeted him told Kili that Thorin wasn’t satisfied with his answer, so he continued. “I didn’t enjoy the worry that came afterward, but you made it easier.”

“I did nothing,” Thorin denied.

At this, Kili scoffed lightly. He didn’t know why Thorin still insisted on pretending that he didn’t care now that they had known each other intimately for weeks. He should know by now that Kili looked up to him more than he had ever looked up to anyone in his life. “I knew you’d say that. That’s why I said nothing when I took you to the forest that time.”

Under him, Thorin stiffened. “Was that why you took me hunting?” he asked, sounding upset. When Kili hummed in confirmation, he frowned deeply. “You shouldn’t have,” he said tensely.

However, Kili shook his head. “I wanted to thank you and I thought since you like taking your pleasure outdoor, I should take you to the forest where there’s less chance of us being seen,” Kili admitted.

“It’s not my preference. I couldn’t help myself,” Thorin said quietly. “Forgive me.”

The sincerity in Thorin’s voice drew Kili’s gaze. The expression on Thorin’s face was a mixture of regret and embarrassment. Couldn’t help himself. Some of the dwarfs Kili had been with in the past had said it to him. They couldn’t help themselves, not when Kili looked delicate yet strong, not when he was smiling so prettily, not when he felt so good under them, taking their cocks. It seemed that Thorin agreed with them. It was a compliment, Kili supposed, to make these dwarfs, especially a dwarf as strong and good as Thorin, lose their control. Still, he couldn’t make himself feel proud.

“I’m quite good at making people lose their inhibition,” Kili said with a deceitful grin, nuzzling Thorin’s neck.

Thorin was silent for a while, not responding to Kili. “What will happen to you after I leave?” he finally asked when Kili began to worry that he had offended him.

Kili thought of the gold and jewelries Thorin had given Vilir and how they would be used. Debts would be covered, peace would be granted, but the gift wasn’t infinite. Sooner or later, the debt would grow and again Kili would be the coin to pay it or to get an extension. Kili looked away from Thorin for a moment to compose himself. There was no happy ending for his sort of story.

“Back to my usual routine, I’d imagine,” Kili said lightly.

Thorin tightened his arm around Kili. “You can leave.” He frowned when Kili looked up, surprised. “You can get away from this. You don’t have to do this anymore,” he said, his deep voice almost imploring.

Kili was tempted to agree, the soulful way Thorin looked at him making it difficult for him to object. He thought of the world Thorin had described. He thought of a hard but honest work in a place far away from Ered Luin where no one had heard of what desperation had done to him. He thought of a simple but peaceful life among people who respected him. He thought of the seemingly-distant past where he had all of these and happiness. But those were only fantasy. He couldn’t leave as long as Vilir still gambled, as long as his entire family’s life was at stake.

“I can’t,” Kili refused, the words almost stuck in his throat. “My family needs me.”

“They will find some other way to survive,” Thorin argued.

“Ways that will put them in danger,” Kili countered, thinking of the instances Vilir considered putting Dis and Fili through the same ordeal as Kili. He couldn’t let that happen. Only one person had to suffer through the humiliation and pain.

Thorin pursed his lips. “You deserve happiness,” he insisted. “You deserve better than this.”

Kili smiled sadly. “I’m happy when my family is safe.” And when Thorin was here with him, his mind added, but Kili refrained from voicing it. They would part soon and Kili didn’t want their separation to be any more difficult than it already was. “I have to stay,” he decided, not without a heavy heart.

Displeasure was palpable in Thorin’s face, but it would yield nothing. Kili snuggled closer to Thorin to avoid further question. Absently, he caressed the scar above Thorin’s steadily-beating heart. He closed his eyes when Thorin kissed the top of his head. Today would likely be the last time Kili could enjoy his gentleness and care. He doubted Thorin would return just to take pleasure in Kili’s companionship. Erebor was far away and no matter how skilled Kili was in the art of pleasure, a cheap whore such as he wasn’t worth a risky travel. There wouldn’t be any kindness anymore from now on, only cruelty and selfishness.

Kili closed his eyes and smiled crookedly. “Everything will be all right,” he lied as pressed a kiss on the scar tissue on Thorin’s chest. Fortunately, Thorin didn’t argue, as Kili wasn’t sure he could maintain this lie. He knew as sure as the sun rises from the east, that nothing would be all right.

* * *

Thorin left without a backward glance. Kili only managed to smile until he turned his back to him, then he had to grit his teeth to prevent his feelings from surfacing. He had fulfilled his duty and that should be enough. They had now a chest full of gold coins and a small one full of jewelries, more than enough to cover Vilir’s debts. It was, by all accounts, a task well done. Yet, Kili felt hollow inside as he often did after his father’s friends left his room, though it’s far more intense this time. The dwarf wasn’t just any stranger who took and took and insult. It was Thorin who gave nearly as much as he took, who showed a whore kindness instead of disgust. In the weeks he had stayed (too long and yet too short,) Kili had become used to his gentle treatments and generosity. He had learned to depend on them to shield him from the coldness of his reality. He had forgotten that it had been but a temporary arrangement and now he suffered from that fantasy.

Dwelling on pain never led to anything. Kili knew this well. So, soon after Thorin was gone, he threw himself into any work he could find. He herded his neighbors’ cattle, fixed their houses, and hunted. Vilir laughed when he came home tired in the evening, telling him that their treasure chests were full still and so there was no need for hard work. Kili smiled but ignored him. He didn’t work entirely for his family’s benefit. For the first time, he did it for himself. Not for money – he \ had little use for it – but for the ache and exhaustion that kept his mind from wandering to the east. With tasks and tiredness occupying him, he thought little of the past, he didn’t linger long before the door of the room Thorin had previously stayed in, he didn’t dream of kisses sweet and long. When busy, Kili didn’t hurt as much.

Vilir bought his sons a pony each. Fili, despite his distaste of how the money used to purchase the animal was made, was clearly grateful for it. He brushed the animal’s hair every morning, his eyes shining in joy. Now, he didn’t have to leave the house very early and could return home before it’s too dark, the animal – he called it Minty – making the travel to his work on the other side of the town much faster. It could be used to carry things, too. Fili earned extra coins helping their neighbors carry their goods to the market. It wasn’t much but still he beamed for it all the same and took care of Minty carefully to show his gratitude.

Kili, on the other hand, rarely rode his pony. He rarely went far from home, not liking the looks he often received in public. He let Vilir or Fili rode the animal most of the times, content to walk to his destinations. But, sometimes when he found no work to do, he took the pony for a ride with a sword upon his side and his bow and arrows strapped to the saddle. Then, he went to the eastern perimeter of Ered Luin, to the invisible border separating his hometown from the world he had only heard but never seen. There, he would gaze at the well-worn path, thinking of adventures, thinking of dangers, thinking of Erebor. Kili’s hands were unsteady still on the hilt of his sword and he knew not the road, but with the pony he could go. Just one step after another after another and he’d be away, far from home and close to the Lonely Mountain.

But Kili couldn’t do it. Dis was too quiet still, Fili could only earn so much, and Vilir still visited the establishments which took his sensibility as well as his money. Kili was needed at home. He wasn’t even sure he was wanted in Erebor. So, Kili turned his back toward the road and head home, trying to forget his longing for freedom and affection.

The months following Thorin’s visit were probably the easiest period of Kili’s life, though not the happiest. In the past, before Vilir discovered gambling, their family had been doing well, but there had always been a little struggle to survive, though no more than what others faced. Even after Fili and Kili were old enough to find works, there had been some difficult times. They had never been wealthy but they had almost always had enough, at least until Vilir started gambling away their possessions. However, there was a marked improvement in their lives after Thorin left.

Their house was repaired. Old wood and furniture were replaced and cold wind no longer blew through small gaps in the wall. They had new better clothes and no longer looked haggard in their worn outfits. They now wore fine clothes with vibrant colors and their beads were no longer made of cheap alloys but carved steel. There was more food on the table. Simple as the menu was, they no longer had to hold back their hunger to save more for the next day, and they could go to bed with stomachs comfortably full. The darkness which had enveloped the small house seemed to be lifted. There was now light and hope, illusion that everything was all right. But Kili knew it was only a matter of time before reality returned, before they woke form this pleasant dream and faced the unfriendly world.

It was the longest Kili had gone without bedding anyone since he helped his father settled his debts. Usually only a couple of weeks went by before dwarf after dwarf came to him to demand his service. These months of freedom, of having his body to himself, were bliss. He did whatever he wanted with only little worry for injury. He came home with hair greasy and tangled, with mud caking his skin, and no one cared. He worked, he practiced with his sword, he shot arrows, he used himself to the point of aching but every day that went by with the vial of oil unused was a victory. He savored it. He knew it wouldn’t last.

People didn’t stare as much now that his life had improved, but those that did stare did so hungrily. Try as Kili might to ignore them, he sensed their eyes roaming his body, he sensed their want. He didn’t run but he stayed with the crowd. Poor as these dwarfs’ reputation and morals were, they wouldn’t dare make proposition to him in public. When there were others, Kili was safe, but he knew he was only biding his time. They were growing impatient and he knew by now that impatience yielded only pain.

It started slowly. The amount of food on the table declined. Little trinkets started to disappear from their house. Dis wore again her ugly beads. In the end, Kili’s pony was sold. Fili desperately took any job offered to him, coming home later and later in the evening. It was all for nothing. Kili put a fresh vial of oil on a table by his bed. He cleaned himself thoroughly and brushed his hair until it shone, making himself desirable. When Vilir told him that he would have a visitor, he was ready.

“You’re very tight. You haven’t done this for a while, have you?” Northri grunted while pinning him down to the bed, his heavy weight nearly crushing Kili.

“No, I…” Kili couldn’t finish his words as at that time Northri slid himself into Kili in one hard thrust. He waited only a beat before fucking Kili harshly.

It hurt. Not in the satisfying way a rough tumble in bed could be with Thorin, but in a way a body was thoroughly used solely for another’s pleasure. Kili bit his tongue, making no noise except for moans to arouse. Nails bit into his skin, leaving crescent marks. Bruises formed on the inside of his thighs and his hips. His entrance was puffy and sore and yet it was used again and again until he could feel little but pain. In the seemingly endless hours, he came only once when he was commanded to. Northri laughed at him when he did and Kili thanked him for it. When it’s finally over, he fell onto a large wet spot, short of breath and in pain, feeling bruised and used.

“You like that, don’t you? I bet you’ve been craving for cocks these past few months,” Northri said amidst heavy breathing.

Kili swallowed thickly, grateful that his long hair hid his face. “I do love your cock,” he lied.

Northri snorted. “Disgusting whore!” he spat out, smacking Kili’s sore bottom.

Kili closed his eyes as rough hands roamed his body greedily, as cruel tongue insulted his perversion, as heavy breathing scratched his tender skin. He placidly smiled when Northri said that he would lend Vilir some money and thanked him for the non-existent benevolence. Once the door closed behind the dwarf, Kili lay gingerly on his bed. He watched the steady dripping of oil from the fallen vial on the floor. Exhausted, pained, used, Kili drifted off to a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How stressed out have I been? Stressed out enough to have to google "penis" because I couldn't remember what it looks like when I tried to edit a smut scene (images from medical sites didn't help) (this is not an invitation to send me pics of it. I've remembered now, thanks.) Happy new year, everyone.
> 
> As usual, you can find me on [tumblr](http://demonessryu.tumblr.com/).

**Author's Note:**

> Visit me on [tumblr](http://demonessryu.tumblr.com/) to say hi, talk about thorinkili, or buy what’s left of my soul with photo/gif sets/arts of thorinkili.


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